Undisclosed Desires
by JadeJeronimo
Summary: Jasper and Bella meet at an after party. They connect on a level that frightens and thrills them and soon learn they can't stay just a one night stand. It would have been perfect...if they weren't so loyal to Alice. AU. AH. Rated M for lemonade & swearin.
1. Echo

**A/N: This is the continuation of 'You are the moon'; my one shot that was so popular I decided to continue it. My first few chapters will be the one shot cut up basically. I am doing this because I wanted people to know that my chapters are **_**usually**_** under 2,500 words. I didn't want anyone to expect me to write 7,500 word chapters all the time.**

**Now that said and done, thank you all so much for the response I got on that story! It made me so happy; I can never express just how amazing it was. Hopefully 'Undisclosed Desires' meets your expectations! **

**I chose the name because, for one it suits the story as is. The lyrics of the song, which is amazing by the way, suit the song well and will come into play in future chapters. It is by Muse so you know :)**

**I had many responses as far as length and style of ending go. I always wanted to write a long story, over 50 chapters, and while 'You are the moon' started as a one shot, I did envision it as maybe a good quality long fiction. While 'Undisclosed Desires' while definitely be over 50,000 words, I can't give exact numbers.**

**It depends on a hundred things! Popularity, motivation, etc...The most important to me though is quality! I hate long stories that have amazing plot but end up waffling on and you get sick of them. **

**Going with the flow basically is what I will do.**

**P.S READERS OF YOU ARE THE MOON; IT IS WORTH READING THIS CHAPTER. WHILE IS THE SAME BASIC PLOT SOME EXTRA STUFF HAS BEEN ADDED. THEY ARE IMPORTANT BUT SUBTLE...;)**

**Now onto the first chapter!**

**------**

**Jasper POV:**

The flashing lights hit my eyes at blinding rates. The stinging sensation was present but not nearly as bad as it once was, back when I had done my first show. As I did my signature walk, I gave the swarm of photographers my signature smile. As my lips twitched into my crooked smirk, someone caught my eye.

Beside my manager Alice Brandon, a petite brunette stood with a camera at the ready. Her dark chocolate hair was falling over her shoulders in loose curls and waves. To my disappointment, much of her face had been obscured by a large and expensive looking camera leaving only her perfect arched eyebrows and full pouty lips exposed.

Remembering where I was I quickly posed before turning and walking to the start of the runway once again.

----

**BPOV.**

------

"Did you get some good shots, Bella?" Alice asked. Instead of responding I passed her my camera carefully. Immediately her small manicured hands pressing buttons. The steady clicking made it clear that, as per usual, she was looking for something in particular.

I knew what that something was.

Jasper Whitlock.

----

Alice, my best friend, had always dreamt of being a model. Since I could remember she had been posing in front of mirrors, begging for fancy clothes and walking in heels that made her suddenly a foot taller.

She had the gorgeous and quirky face and a perfectly proportioned body, but to her dismay those proportions were too small. Managing to do a few print campaigns, she still clung to the hope that she would still get to be the model she had longed to be.

Alice was probably one of the strongest people I have ever known, but it was the day after her first love had broken her heart while she was at her most vulnerable, that she gave up. At a casting for a fashion campaign, a bitter bitch had called her out on her size.

I had never been told what the other model said, but it was enough for Alice to give up on her childhood dreams.

What she didn't give up on though, was her dream to be in the fashion industry. She wanted so desperately to be immersed in the industry but lacked the height for modelling or the sewing skills for making clothing.

The next idea she had was to be a stylist, and that had worked for a while. She was interning for Angela Weber, a smart and fashionably geeky woman tabbed as the next Rachel Zoe, when she had to interview models for an upcoming photo shoot. Alice was given the task of picking 3 models out of 1000, a task that had to be spread out over a two week period.

Alice had picked Edward Cullen. He was a mysteriously sexy bronze haired man with pale skin that had the slightest hint of a tan. His dark emerald eyes and structured eyebrows had become his trademark. Surprisingly down to earth and witty, Alice wanted to set us up. It never happened since the shoot made his famous enough to have anyone he wanted.

The next person was a gorgeous girl by the name of Rosalie Hale. With long hair that naturally fell into silky waves and unique violet eyes it was clear why Alice picked her. The fact that she had an almost perfect body didn't hurt either. Vain, but sweet enough, Alice had enjoyed working with her.

The last of the three people wasn't actually auditioning. Alice had originally picked a sweet woman called Esme Pratt. She had lovely caramel hair and light honey eyes. She was the best out of what had been seen but Angela agreed with Alice that, while she was absolutely a very pretty girl with a great walk, she just didn't seem to fit.

Alice told me that at the end of that day while walking home she had run into a tall blond man. With sparkling blue eyes and a lean physique, Alice had dubbed him perfect. The spent hours in a coffee shop; she was convincing him that she was not trying to scam him and he was asking dozens of questions. He was chosen and along with Edward and Rosalie, did the shoot.

At the end of that year, Alice decided, along with a little prodding from Angela that talent management was more her thing than styling. Alice had asked Edward, Jasper and Rosalie if they would like to join her as her first clients.

Edward had already been signed by Eclipse Model Management and Rosalie had decided that, while modelling was extremely fun and paid well, that she would rather be a mother. That left Jasper.

He had told Alice while modelling was never his plan he would be pleased to join her.

The rest, as they say, is history.

----

"Bella, my god, you are amazing!" Alice's praise brought me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at the screen on my camera and smiled. While I wasn't amazing, the picture I had taken was. It was Jasper, his signature crooked smirk on his lips and his blue eyes practically piercing the lens I used to shoot him. The light had hit him perfectly, practically making him shine under it.

He looked beautiful.

"Yeah, that is a really good shot actually," I admitted. She turned to me, her hazel eyes large and pleading. I knew the drill. "You two would make a cute pair," I told her, like I did every time I was shown a photo or video of Jasper.

"I think we would too," she said proudly, as if the fact that they were both attractive would make them suddenly fall in love.

In her defence, in the industry Alice worked in, that was probably an often occurrence.

-----

"There he is!" She squealed, her tiny fingers wrapping around my wrist and yanking harshly. She began to tug me along, her short dark hair bouncing with ever skip of her step.

"Hey Alice," he greeted her as her heeled feet skidded to a stop. "How are you?" He was polite; I had been told but never experienced myself.

I felt like I already knew him despite never actually meeting him.

It was an odd feeling, like reading a book but knowing every outcome and pairing. I was unsure if I liked it.

"Hey Jazz," she practically cooed at him. "I'm good. You were great tonight," now she was fucking purring. I wasn't sure if I wanted to puke or leave.

_Maybe both._

Jasper tugged at the hairs on the base of his neck awkwardly, a small smile on his lips. "Thanks Al," he said to her before he turned to me. "Hello there," he greeted, his hand extended to shake mine. I placed my right hand in his and I couldn't help but notice how well they fit. I blushed as a look of recognition seemed to pass through his eyes. "You must be Bella!" He seemed pleased with himself, as if he had just figured out a puzzle.

"And you must be Jasper," I untangled my hand from the grasp of his. He was still smiling at me and I could have just melted. He was even more handsome up close and in person. I was so pissed at Alice at this moment. She had told me that no matter what, I was to protect Jasper from anyone who tried to hit on him. _He was hers_, she had said. _He just didn't know it yet._

I had always thought that either she was right and he might have liked her or she had wishful thinking.

Suddenly I felt myself desperately wishing for the latter.

-----

"I have to go talk to some people, you know network?" Jasper and I nodded numbly at Alice. "Bella, don't forget what I said before. And Jasper, you really were great tonight." She winked at him before turning her gaze to me. She gave a meaningful look and, while Jasper wasn't looking, waved a hand over to a group of models eyeing the men in the room, particularly Jasper, hungrily. I knew what she was saying; watch them and don't let them near him.

Alice walked off into the crowd of tall models, short children of wealthy celebrities and fat men in suits leaving me and Jasper alone.

"You don't have to stay with me," I told him, feeling bad that he was sticking with a stranger while he could be having fun and drinking.

"Don't be silly, Bella. I have been dying to meet you. Alice practically beams when she talks about you. I can't wait to get to know you," he smiled at me and my knees went weak.

He was gorgeous.

"I feel the same, Jasper. The way Alice talks about you I feel like I have known you for years. Do you want to go grab some coffee? Alice told me that there is a great adjoining cafe here."

"That sounds great. Lead the way, Picture Girl."

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**A/N: So what do you think? Reviews are what made this happen in the first place...;)**

**ALSO; Mainly BPOV unless you guys really want other ones. Request, it just might happen! JPOV for the start though, just to show the instant curiosity.**

**Any more questions, ask. I love to answer (:**


	2. Unsafe Safe

**A/N: Chapter Two! Thanks for the responses to this, keep them coming ;)**

* * *

I sipped on the milkshake I had ordered while Jasper skulled a large coffee. I resisted the urge to get a coffee myself, but I didn't want to have trouble sleeping tonight unless it was for a good reason.

"Can I ask you something?" he questioned, his long fingers tearing apart his paper cup - another nervous habit I assumed.

"Go ahead," I prompted. My curiosity level tonight was higher than I had ever experienced. The fact that a light blush once again swept his cheeks was only intriguing me more.

"I know how this is going to sound, but just bare with me," I resisted the urge to tell him I will be bare with him whenever I wanted due to my embarrassment preventing this hormonal outburst. "I don't really like being here so do you mind if I go somewhere else?" Sadness seeped through my body as I tried to keep a brave face.

"Sorry Jasper, I didn't mean to keep you so long. Have a good night." I stood up, reaching for my purse as I prepared to leave before the tears I felt welling overflowed. Reasonable explanations tried to form in my mind as to why I felt so attached to him already.

Before any came to me, a pale hand wrapped its long fingers around my wrists like handcuffs. I was sure I heard him cursing under his breathe.

"Bella, wait." Sensual was the only word that I could think of when it came to the way he said my name. I liked it. "You misunderstood me, sweetheart. I meant could...could _we," _he pointed between himself and me, "go somewhere. My place? Or maybe yours if that makes you feel more comfortable?" More nervous habits made there presence known as his pearly whites chewed on his plump bottom. I now comprehended what he said about 'knowing how this sounds' and found myself disappointed that it wasn't how it seemed.

Just being in his presence was causing me to become aroused, the absolute need for his touch almost mortifying. The attraction I felt for him was stronger than anything I had experienced. Like a steady mantra in the back of my mind, the phrase 'Fucking Alice and her fucking crush' murmured.

My verbal response was almost immediate. Eager enough to be embarrassing yet I found no heat rising to my cheeks. "I'd love to, Jasper."

His grin was so bright that I was sure the sun would be jealous if it saw it, but only the moon lit the outdoor cafe that we stood in. "I'd prefer my place if that's okay?"

"Very well, darlin'. I have a car waiting for me outside. Do you need to let anyone know you're leaving?" I shook my head at him, knowing full well Alice wouldn't notice my leaving. Even if she did, she knew of my hate for these parties.

------

The car was moving slowly through the 11pm traffic of New York. Jasper and I had started off by discussing the basics such as what our jobs were.

I had learnt that he had originally wanted to be a journalist. He said he was good at picking up on people's emotions and even manipulating them. He used his charm to calm, or even to excite a crowd of people. This charm and ability to pick up on emotions, along with a good knowledge of current affairs and pop culture as well as great writing skills made journalism an obvious choice.

He was on the way back from an interview at a popular magazine when Alice ran into him. He had been rejected for no real reason; just told he wasn't right for that magazine.

Jasper needed money for food and another nights stay in the hotel room, along with some spare cash to send back home to his sister. Alice had seemed like a godsend at the time, filling Jasper with promises of at least three thousand dollars for just six hours of work.

"After that day I applied at several magazines and newspapers," he had said. "But the only ones that accepted me were either last on my list of preferences or didn't pay very well for the first few years. So I went back to Miss Weber who agreed to use me in a few campaigns. Then Alice wanted me and well, I would be stupid to say no to that kind of cash."

I had told him how I originally wanted to be a freelance photographer and travel the world, but like him I had trouble paying the bills.

"One day Alice needed a photographer. Hers had cancelled at last minute and she needed someone to take headshots of a new client in time for a go-see the next day. She gave me five hundred dollars and said I could get even more for commercial shoots if I joined her. I did and here I am."

-------

For the rest of the trip we had decided to play twenty questions. We stuck to the mundane questions about favourite colours, foods and places.

I was down to my twentieth question. I felt comfortable enough with him that I decided to ask him something that had been bugging me since he asked me to leave.

"Why didn't you want to stay at the party?"

He ran a hand through his honey hued locks before answering. "Those parties are just an excuse to network, judge and gossip. If you aren't seen kissing another model, you're gay. If you are seen handshaking with an opposing agencies manager, you are ditching your current one. If you are seen asking for a drink, you are a partying wreck. Everyone tells you how great you are while bitching about you the second you leave. I hate that scene, Bella. I _hate_ this _industry."_

He looked out the window and I realized I had hit a sore point. I wanted nothing more than to allow a million apologies burst through my lips but before I had the chance his gaze came back to me.

"It's my last question, isn't it?" I nodded, relief waving over me. I understood what he meant about his skill for picking up on emotions and changing them. He began to ask a question but the car suddenly stopped. I looked out the window and noticed my apartment was outside. Jasper talked to the driver briefly before lacing his long fingers with mine and tugging me.

"Come on little Picture Girl, we can finish this inside."

--------

"Where were we?" he mused, swirling the wine glass he held. "Ahh, yes. It was my turn to ask a question. What caused you to start photography darlin'?"His question puzzled me and he could tell. "I know why you continued to do it for Alice, but what made you start?"

Surely he could have thought of something more interesting? Regardless, I answered honestly.

"It's really simple actually. If you can't be beautiful, why not capture something that is?"

An almost disgusted gasp sounded."Bella, do you really think you aren't beautiful?" To answer his question I simply waved a hand up and done the length of my body as if to say 'Clearly, just look at me.'

"Are you blind? Look at you, sugar! You are quite literally the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. When I saw you today, you took my breath away." His eyes were downcast as he spoke but came back to mine when he was done.

"You are definitely the most handsome man I have ever seen Jasper," I admitted. He gave me a soft smile but his eyes were hard.

"That is quite sweet of you, Bella. But trust me when I say I am not handsome," he looked down at his arm, tugging up the sleeve. "See this Bella?"

I stared at his arm, trying to see anything. My brow furrowed. What was I meant to be seeing? Jasper clearly noticed my frustration. Immediately he moved his arm under the light of my bedside lamp.

Suddenly hundreds of tiny scars appeared on his skin, varying in shape.

I leaned in closer.

"Jasper," I whispered. "What the fuck happened to you?"

A pause past before he answered as if trying to assemble his thoughts. "I didn't have as happy as a childhood that most people receive, Bella. Even Alice has no idea," another few minutes of silence passed, varying degrees of pain flashing across his face. Suddenly he began to tug off his shirt but my hand of its own accord stopped him.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I understand if you are disgusted," his head hung low as a soft gasp tumbled from my lips.

"I am hardly disgusted! I just don't want you to feel like you have to do anything to prove something. I still find you handsome, Jasper. You are really handsome," and he was, even as he stared at me like I had a third head.

"Beautiful?" he was restraining an anger I couldn't understand. He harshly ripped his shirt from his body, the buttons scattering across the carpet of my bedroom. "I am fucking repulsive!" His eyebrows furrowed and his breath's came out fast and shallow. I gazed at him for a few seconds, absorbing how he looked. He had scars all over his torso and suddenly something clicked. Alice always thought he was a prude as he refused to show anything more than his hands, neck and legs in runways or photo shoots. I now understood.

His head turned away from me, but I refused to allow that. I used my right hand to turn it back to me as my left hand clasped unto his. I waited for his stubborn eyes to find mine, and when they did I allowed my voice, soft as the wind, to whisper words that were utterly true.

"Your face doesn't define your beauty, nor does any other one part of you. And these scars?" I traced a long scar down his chest. "These scars don't define your beauty either, Jasper. You _are _absolutely breathtaking," I reminded him.

His breathing began to return to normal but he still didn't seem to believe me. To try to convince him I let my lips drop to his oddly textured skin. I allowed my fingers to flutter over ever scar, caressing them. My kisses trailed from his shoulder, down to his chest and then back up to his neck.

He had become completely still by this point, like a statue beneath my touch. I hesitantly moved myself into his lap, my lips finding their way to his jaw.

I began to murmur into his skin between open mouth kisses. "You," I kissed his clean shaven jaw again. "Are," I kissed his cheek. "Beautiful," my lips pressed against the side of his. I ghosted my lips over his full ones, waiting for him to respond; to do anything.

He never did.

------

**A/N: Don't hate me!**

**I love reviews, so make me happy please? Heck, I will make it easier for you. I kinda want an idea of who is reading so even if you only review with a number from this list I would be happy. (But extra would be even better LOL)**

**1. I read You Are the Moon so I came back to read the full version.**

**2. I read You Are the Moon, but am currently skimming until you post completely new things.**

**3. I haven't read anything else and am reading this story for the first time**

**4. I read something else JadeJeronimo has written and was curious about this.**

**a)I loved this story.**

**b) I don't love it yet but it interests me.**

**c) I am about to write a MAMMOTH flame cause you suck.**

**d) You need to fix something -insert fix here-**


	3. You are the Moon

**Thank you for the reviews again!**

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"Can we just lie here for a while?" he asked, his long fingers plucking my short ones away from his skin.

I nodded, trying to ignore the pain sweeping through me. Jasper smiled slightly, shifting me off his lap and laying me gently on my bed as if I was breakable although he was the one who seemed so fragile. I wanted to know the story of his scars, but I kept the words within the confines of my verbal filter. He looked vulnerable as he rolled back over facing me again, his hand seeking mine; seeking comfort.

I stared into his eyes, trying to figure out this man. Many would think he had everything; he was rich, famous and adored by many. I was learning better.

"Bella, thank you for tonight," he murmured. "When I knew you were there for Alice and not for networking, models or sex I thought you would be great to hang with. Alice speaks very highly of you, you know." The combination of his southern accent, his natural eloquence and his polite manner or speaking was a deeply charming combination.

"I can say the same for you. I must admit though, I wouldn't have minded getting laid," as if on cue, I blushed and ducked my head.

_Goodbye verbal filter, so nice of you to warn me when the wine took you away._

He laughed and kissed my nose, dropping his forehead against mine. I was sure if I opened my eyes, his would be looking into mine.

"Maybe later, sugar," he appeased me, his Texan roots showing more than they had before. "For tonight would you mind just keeping me company? I get so lonely sometimes." I opened my eyes and sure enough those blue gazers were staring at me, reading me like an open book.

"How can you be so lonely in one of the busiest cities of the world?" I didn't bother trying to word it nicely to make him feel better. I was blunt and to the point. I think he appreciated that considering his career.

He started at me briefly before he answered; his breath ghosting against my skin as he did so.

"Think of it this way," he said. "If you were put in a room full of people who don't speak your language, who don't understand anything you think or feel, would you be lonely then?"

-----

His head was nestled into the crook of my neck, his fingers making sweeping circles across my hand. The steady rhythm of our breathing was the only sound apart from the distant hum of traffic and the gentle pitter patter of rain.

"I enjoy your company," he said randomly, his voice obscuring the silence.

"I'm glad," I whispered, shifting even closer to him.

I enjoyed his more than I should, the thought thrilling me and scaring me all at once.

-----

In the few hours that I had known Jasper, I had learnt so much; almost _too_ much yet not enough at all.

I knew that the hardest thing I would ever have to do is watch him and Alice fall in love as she thought they would. I couldn't help but think that I understood him on a level she couldn't ever reach, despite the difference in the length of time we had known him.

Alice saw a polite Texan boy who never spoke out of place. I saw the man who feared saying the wrong thing.

She assumed he was raised well, his parents teaching him manners and charm. I had learnt he was just a frightened boy in the body of the man. I knew he wasn't taught manners, shyness and a polite disposition were intimidated into him.

She saw Jasper, the person who always had potential for modelling but never knew it. I knew he was desperate for the money but hated the fame.

We both see the clearly handsome guy, however she only can see the outer beauty he obtained from his classically attractive father and stunning mother. What she is blind to, the more important things to see, are the kindness of his heart or the dark pain that swims in his heart, the things I have seen already.

It wasn't Alice's fault though.

----

"Does Alice know all this?" I asked him in between watching late night television and the random hour of sleep here and there.

"Know all what?" he asked. His fingers, calloused from guitar playing, dancing across my arm.

"Know all about what is underneath the beauty; how you think, how you feel...the _real_ you."

"No," he said simply.

Half an hour or so passed, the dark of the room seeming heavier in preparation for the continuation of the conversation that I wasn't even sure would happen.

"For her to know all that, I would have to let her in. I learnt that doing that leaves you vulnerable and easily weakened, so I guess I am averse to allowing anyone in." He paused again, the air in the room thick with unspoken secrets and the silence of a hard youth. "For you I made an exception though."

"Why?"

"Because, my dear Bella..." he started as rain began to splatter against my windows. "I thought you might understand me."

"How could you of known that within a few moments of knowing me?"

"I couldn't, I guess. I felt something though...some sort of draw to you. I was hoping it wouldn't be wrong." He smiled at me and I realized he wasn't wrong. We just clicked.

"But what if you were wrong?"

"Well then I probably would have gotten to fuck a very hot woman."

The sound of our laughter joined the rain as the only noises of the night.

----

"Do you know the Hush Sound?" he asked me as we discussed music. Alice was right; we were similar in this aspect too.

"I love them."

"Can we listen to 'You are the moon'?" I nodded, retrieving my iPod. I was just about to find my speakers when he tugged me back onto the bed, my back crashed against his chest. He gently placed one of the ear buds into my ear. Long fingers brushed back my hair; I blushed.

"I really love this song," I said, my voice sounding tiny against the loud of the music humming in my ear. "Why did you want to listen to it?"

"Listen to the lyrics, darlin'," was his cryptic answer.

As I sat there, his legs twined with me; his arms forming a cage around me, I obeyed his request.

_Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark  
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms  
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?_  
_The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone _

_You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear  
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier_

_All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas  
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe  
_

_I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact  
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass  
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky  
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise_

He was playing me this song to show me how I made him feel, I realized. A small smile broke out across my face.

"You make me feel beautiful," he whispered against my hair, his voice constraining so many emotions.

I turned, a hard task considering the way we were tangled, and kissed his lips.

I pulled back, waiting for the rejection again. As tears welled up in my eyes, he moved closer.

"You make me feel whole, Bella," he kissed my forehead, his warm lips lingering. "You make me feel human."

The rejection was quickly replaced by joy as his lingering lips found their way to mine.

-----

**A/N:**

**Hell yes. Kisses make everything better, am I right?**

**I am updating while at a friends house. God I love mini laptops ;) Be lucky I loved you enough to post twice in a 48 hour period! -and cause I wanted to wake up to reviews....-**


	4. Me and You

**A/N: As a present to the lovelies who read You are the Moon but are still re-reading this, I have an almost completely Original Chappy.**

**Thanks for the support, ya'll!**

* * *

I was awoken sometime after seven in the morning by a pair of now familiar hands sweeping across my stomach. My eyes stayed shut and my body remained still except for the subtle movements of my chest from breathing, curious as to where this was going.

Jasper refused to accept this though, his chuckle, throatier than usual with sleep, making it clear he knew I was no longer asleep.

"Bella," he whispered in my ear as the warm breathe that accompanied it caused a shiver to run through me. "Are you alright, darlin'? You seemed to be having some very vivid dreams."

Sheer mortification oozed from every pore of my skin. Being told that I had been a sleep talker before, I had no reason to doubt him. I wanted nothing more than to become invisible, silently cursing the habit I thought I kicked after puberty. I guess it had stuck with me.

Calloused fingers swept higher, grazing the underside of my breasts as his soft lips pressed against the back of my neck.

_Please dear God, let this be the start of Round Two._

Then I realized something that made me flinch from his touch. I turned quickly, facing him in time to see the sadness swim into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, a furious blush dancing on my cheeks and chest. "I just can't right now."

"It's alright," but his face and body said anything but. "I guess I just assumed...I thought that we...You know I mean, I did say I wanted to fuc-...You just didn't seem like the...I mean, I was hoping for..." he stopped and started about ten different sentences before I understood what he was saying.

"Oh fuck Jazz, it's not that, handsome," I quickly mumbled, hating the ever-growing look of pain he had. "I just need to brush my teeth and have a quick shower first." My blush was getting darker by the second.

Laughter burst through him as he shook his head, clearly amused.

"Only you would be worried about morning breathe instead of sex," he gasped out. I frowned at him but the happiness he was now radiating made it worth being laughed at. _Only just._

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you like, asshat. You wouldn't be laughing if you had to kiss me in all my bad breathed, prickly legged glory."

That only made him laugh harder as his arms wrapped around me, crushing me to him. I attempted to talk, but my mouth was muffled by his shirt. I pulled my head back to speak but his lips crushed against mine. Any hope of pulling away was gone as his hands moved to my neck and hair, holding me even tighter still. I gasped as his fingers tugged on my hair in a delightful way, his tongue taking the opportunity to slide into my mouth; exploring, tasting...laughing?

He pulled back and kissed my nose, his forehead dropping to mine. "You were right about morning breath," he said hesitantly, still chuckling. The blush came back in full force as I made an attempt to get away from him but he wouldn't have that yet. He held me close and nuzzled my neck, his arms loosening slightly as the seconds past by. Finally his arms completely released me.

Giving me a quick close-mouthed kiss, he began to murmur against my lips. "I don't want to let you go just yet, but the sooner you go the quicker you can come back to me, so come back right quick, sweetheart." Smiling at his words and his adorable Texan speak, I ran to the bathroom and launched myself into the shower, hitting my head in my haste to get back to Jasper.

----

"Now you have a nice and clean Bella to play with," I teased as I walked back into my bedroom freshly shaved with minty fresh breath. Smiling at the sight of Jasper also newly showered, arms open invitingly, looking completely in his place in _my_ room, I noticed something. He looked _completely_ carefree and happy.

I smiled wider.

"Oh, I intend to play with you Bella," he drawled, a sexy smirk on his face as he crooked a finger in a 'come here' gesture.

_I think I died and went to heaven._

As I walked towards him, I tried to subtly sway my hips in a vain attempt at sexiness. Knowing he was around models that were voted most beautiful on a daily basis didn't help, the constant insecurity I felt surfacing more and more with each step I took. In my comfy sweats and singlet I felt severely underdressed for the situation; my only solace was the black and purple lace lingerie I had chosen to wear.

As I reached him, my knees knocking the metal of my bed, I smiled timidly at him, my eyes meeting his.

"You are the most stunning girl I have ever seen, Isabella," he complimented, unknowingly knowing exactly what to say to reverse the effects of my fears. As his blue eyes, piercing with an intensity I had never seen before traced the contours and lines of my face, I believed him.

It reminded me of when he told me that I made him feel beautiful. At the time I didn't believe that someone's facial expressions or words could make someone feel beautiful when they felt anything but. Yet here, with him staring at me like a starving man would stare at his first meal in months, I felt as though I could conquer the world and save the whales while creating the cure for cancer.

It was exhilarating.

His hands, so large compared to mine, met my skin and clothing; one hovering on my lower back as the other laid its long fingers around the back of my neck, tugging me down towards him. Instinct kicked is causing my legs to kick out on either side of him. Now straddling him, my arousal pushed forth to the front of my mind as every fear faded to the back.

"Jasper," I sighed, every other word seeming meaningless in the moment as my nose grazed his, my eyes locked on his.

"Bella," he mirrored my tone, my name sounding so delicate and precious as it fell from his lips.

We sat there for moment, just being us. We didn't have to think of reality here, the only reality present was each other.

_Jasper and Bella._

Slowly, as if speed would break this trance we both seemed to be in, his lips shifted forward. He gripped me harder, the hand on my lower back pulling me tighter to him as I moved closer myself. Our lips met in a kiss so gentle that only the faint tingling that it left in its wake made me sure it had happened. Leaning forward again, slightly harder and faster, we kissed again. Our mouths moulded as our bodies began to twine. Only when I felt our legs tangiing did I realize I was now flat on my back, Jaspers body hovering over mine.

He stopped kissing suddenly causing me to whimper. His hot breathe was on my neck as his lips brushed against my ear. "I think I want to re-enact that dream you were having baby, do you remember it?" After I shook my head and mumbled a breathless no, he continued. "You were begging me to touch you. I want to hear you beg, Bella," he whispered in my ear.

_Oh fuck. Definitely died and went to Heaven._

_-----_

**A/N: Uhm. Yep. -runs and hides- **

**This is completely original and wasn't really in You are the Moon, so reviews would be nice. xD**


	5. We Intertwined

**A/N: Thanks to the ****one**** person who reviewed the last chapter xD**

----

When I eventually woke up the first thing I noticed was the light steaming into my room. A glance in the direction of my alarm clock made me aware that it was 8.34am. Jasper was still asleep so I took the chance to just look at him, determined to imprint his face into my memory before he had to leave.

I don't know how long I stared at him, the soft arch of his eyebrows, the sharp planes of his face, the way his full lips parted to allow the movement of air in and out, the way the light cast shadows on his face from his long eyelashes...

I hated Alice while I stared at him. If she didn't want him, I had no doubt that Jasper and I would get together for more than a one night stand. I sighed quietly and pushed the sad thoughts to the back of my mind, trying to savour these last untainted moments.

Caving in to a never ending temptation, I played with his hair. The curls were somewhat destroyed now, turning his hair into a glorious mess of waves and kinks. I took the one curl that was left and twisted it around my fingers. I noticed Jasper smile during this, small enough that if I wasn't looking directly at him, I would miss it. He rolled over slightly, half asleep and slinging his arm lazily around my waist.

He woke up completely eventually and immediately broke into a smile when he saw me. I smiled back timidly, unsure of where we stood. He seemed to note my hesitation as he leant forward and kissed me, gazing at me intently.

In that moment; our eyes locked, his fingers intertwined with mine, his lips pressed as soft as a rose petal against mine, I felt connected to him. I had felt connected to people in many ways before, but never like this. He seemed to have the same thoughts as I did and the mood in the room shifted.

A weight was put against our shoulders now. We both knew that the night was over. When we left this room soon, it would all go back to how it was before.

We would become Jasper Hale the model and Isabella Swan the photographer. We would both go back to be Alice's workers; her property almost. I would still be her closest friend and if she had her way, he would become her lover.

That thought taunted me as I pulled him closer to me so I could suck on his neck; marking him. He did the same, his soft lips pressed against the base of my throat.

It was this brief set of minutes in which we each claimed each other as our own, I realized something.

Jasper and I were completely perfect for each other. Similar in almost every way and in the ways we weren't, we complimented each other.

It was this factor, this way we both thought and dealt with things that would be our downfall. Because, like me, Jasper put other people's happiness above his own.

_Fucking Alice and her fucking crush._

----

It was 9.44am, 2 hours before Jasper had to meet Alice for a lunch meeting to discuss a trip to Paris. Jasper was getting his clothes together, preparing to leave, when my phone rang.

"Hello. Bella Swan speaking," I answered politely, sitting up.

"Hey Bella, its Alice." Usually I was happy to talk to her, but I was annoyed at her for calling. These were the last few moments Jasper and I would have together because of her, and she wanted to take those away from me too? She was selfish and she didn't even know it.

"Alice, I am in the middle of something. Mind making it quick?" I spoke as sweetly as I could, despite the raging frustration within me.

"Oh sure Bella," she replied calmly. She hadn't noticed my odd mood.

_Good._

"I was just wondering if you saw what happened to Jasper last night." She said.

Without thinking thoroughly I handed the phone to Jasper.

"It's for you," I mumbled.

He took the phone and said "Yes?" Almost straight away the phone was placed back in my hands.

"Bella!" Alice yelled as soon as I made her aware I was listening. "How could you? He is _mine_, Bella. He doesn't know it yet, but you do! How could you be such a slut? For fucks sake, why is Jasper at your apartment!" She yelled her voice harsh and rude. I wanted to cry and scream at her, yet had to keep calm.

"Alice, calm the fuck down," I ordered as coldly as I could.

"Sorry," she murmured. "Explain?"

"We didn't do anything but talk." The lies tasted bitter on my tongue.

I hate the world.

"Really?" I wanted nothing more than to scream at her, tell her she doesn't deserve him and that he should be mine. I wanted to squash her stupid hopeful tone and cry and kick up a fuss.

Instead I simply said "Alice, we both know you would have my head on a platter if I touched him."

She laughed, clearly relieved. "That's true!" She giggled, probably imagining it in her head. "I mean, you aren't even his type. He likes the really gorgeous models," she said. I almost wanted to laugh at her.

_Oh yes Alice, and who got told she couldn't be a model? _

"So is that all Alice?"

"Yeah, oh! Can you remind Jaz that I already reserved us a table at Twilight and that he should ask to be seated with Ms Brandon?"

"Sure. Well I was just about to hop in the shower, so bye Alice."

"Bye Bella. And thanks," she mumbled.

"For what?"

"For not sleeping with the guy I am in love with, of course. Bye babe!"

I felt guilty, angry and confused all at once.

She is in _love _with him?

The thought mocked me as I attempted to smile at Jasper who was smiling reassuringly at me.

----

He stood at the door of my apartment, freshly showered and smiling softly but his eyes were down and sad.

"Hey," I whispered using my index finger to lift his chin. "It was great while it lasted, right?"

He nodded but didn't change his facial expression one bit. He leaned in and began to pepper kisses all over my face and neck.

He finally smiled properly when I began to giggle.

"I adore you, Bella." He said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, as if it would solve every problem that ever existed.

It was like he was saying a minor form of I love you.

I loved it. I loved him. _I hated it._

"I adore you more," I said fondly, my arms clinging to him tightly.

I didn't want to let go.

"Call me later?" he requested.

I nodded. I would be counting down every second till I could call him, even if I couldn't say anything romantic or flirtatious, even if he wasn't mine because he understood me.

Friendship; I could handle that.

_Right?_

I began to cry, tears streaming down my face and sobs racking through my chest.

"No baby," he cooed. "Darlin' please don't cry," he begged.

He pulled me to him closer, tucking me into him.

We fit perfect. His side seemed moulded to have me curl into it, my hand was the right size for his, my slightly larger top lip and his lower lip made our kisses fit perfect.

I cried harder.

We fit perfectly for _everything._

I was his compliment and he was mine.

Even during sex we complimented each other like black and white, ying and yang.

We fit like puzzle pieces.

So why did the world put as together when it knew we wouldn't do anything to hurt Alice?

----

I hated it.

-----

_I hated Alice for claiming him._

_I hated Jasper for being so decent and sweet; too sweet to hurt Alice._

_I hated myself for not meeting Jasper before Alice._

_I hated myself for getting so close to him after only one night._

----

I hated fate.

----

He closed the door after kissing away my tears.

"Fate can't be so cruel," he had mumbled. "We will be brought together somehow, sugar."

He had smiled at me again. It wasn't the biggest smile he had done in my presence, but it was the first one to reach his eyes for the last 2 hours. He leant down and kissed the top of my head. The scent of soap and shampoo assaulted my senses. I breathed in deep, savouring the moment.

"I promised this isn't goodbye," he mumbled against my hair. He inhaled like I was, savouring the moment too.

----

My lips were kissed several more times before he had finally left.

----

I had been curled up on my couch for half an hour when the sound of knocking on my door stirred my moping session. I rubbed my eyes and walked to the door, opening it.

Jasper stood there, a massive smile on his face.

"I had to tell you something before I left."

----

I crawled into bed, hugging my pillows that smelt like him.

Fresh tears pricked in my eyes as I played the words he had said over and over in my head.

"I am fairly sure I am falling in love with you, Bella."

* * *

**A/N: So we are finally up to where You are the Moon finished.**

**Reviews would be amazing, since I haven't gotten many lately.**


	6. Hush Sound

**Authors Note;**

**Thank you to the lovely girls who helped me with POV's. You all picked the similar option, just so you know. Also thank you to anyone who has reviewed. Each one makes my day :) **

**ALSO: I know it is unlikely that Alice's Model Management Agency would be so good already...but meh. It's my Fanfiction, and I like to pretend that because Jasper became so popular it made the agency well known...Kapeesh? Hehehe.**

**Well this is completely new... Hope ya'll like it ;)**

------------

The cafe itself was quite warm and romantic, but the air around Alice and I was tense. Her fingernails kept tapping against the table, one of her habits. It was annoying at first, but I adjusted to it. It still annoyed me to no end, but I was able to tune it out easier over time.

"Vera Wang wants to use you in a shoot soon. It's a bridal one this time, so you will be all suited up," she kept tapping her fingers, waiting for my answer.

"Sounds good," was my eloquent answer. "Before or after Paris?"

"About a month after we get back, as far as I was told. It could change anytime though." I could see it in her hazel eyes that she wanted to say something else and I knew it would have to do with last night. I sipped on my glass of water while I waited.

_1, 2, 3._

"So, you were really good last night Jasper. Your walk was perfect; you were in all the magazines today. A lot of people asked for you at the after party but you had already run off..." Her voice trailed off, an awkward giggle sounding at the end.

"Uh yeah," I agreed. I pulled at my hair as I tried to word this correctly. "It wasn't really my scene. I mean, you know me Alice," or at least you seem to think you do. "I don't really like the after parties."

"You left with Bella?" Her tone was sweet but she seemed saddened.

"Yeah, well I had a bit to drink and I didn't want to drive home but I forgot money for a taxi. Bella offered to drive me home, but I felt guilty since I live on the other side of town. She was nice enough to offer me her couch for the night." I hated lying to Alice but I was sure the truth would hurt her more.

"Oh. So what did you think of Bella?"

"She was nice. It was clear how close you guys are. She speaks so well of you," I lied again. Although Bella did say some nice things, I doubted that she was Alice's biggest fan right now.

Alice smiled at this, her usual attitude coming back. She took a large gulp of coffee and sat up straighter, the sadness in her eyes fading out slowly. "Yeah, she's a great girl. I'm glad you two got along, we should hang out sometime."

"Yeah, maybe," I murmured. I attempted to change the topic. "So what do we need to discuss about Paris?"

"God, there is so much to do Jasper. Do you want to leave in the morning or afternoon? And I looked up what the weather will be like, so you should mostly pack..."

------

**-:- BPOV -:-**

It was horrible, sitting at an overstuffed desk and knowing that a few blocks away Alice and Jasper would be discussing a trip together.

Ugh.

"Miss Swan?" Jessica's head popped around the corner of my door. She had been my assistant for a few months but still acted overly formal. I hoped she never became a slacker and unprofessional with clients, but her calling me Miss Swan was one thing I wanted to change. I was only six years older than her; I didn't need to be made to feel old.

"Jess..." My voice had a familiar tone that she recognised. She sighed.

"Sorry. Excuse me, Bella?" I laughed, nodding at her to continue.

"There is an Edward Cullen on the phone asking for Alice; do you want to take it or do you want me to get him to leave a message?"

The name sounded familiar and it only took me a few moments to remember he was one of the models Alice had scouted back at Angela Weber's.

"Uh, sure. Does he mind if it isn't Alice?"

"I think its fine..."

I was still unsure, but nodded anyways. "Sure, put him through."

Holding my phone against my ear, I waited for a signal that he was put through.

"Miss Swan?" A velvety male voice asked.

"Hello. This is Miss Swan, how can I help you?" I immediately went into professional Bella mode.

"Good afternoon Miss Swan. This is Edward Cullen," he politely introduced himself. "Well ideally I would have wanted to talk to Alice, but I hear you are next in line?"

_Oh god, why did Jessica tell him that_? "Well, I am actually the on-hand photographer but I am also a close friend of Alice, so I know the business well."

"I see. I don't mean to sound rude, but do you know when Alice will be back? I am sure you are highly competent Miss Swan, but I would rather speak to Alice directly..." Relieved, I smiled through the phone although I knew he could not see me.

"No problem. She should be back..." I glanced at the time on my computer. "She will be back sometime in the next two hours. Would you like me to ask her to give you a call?"

"No thank you, I will just ring back later. Have a lovely day," he said.

"You too, Mr Cullen."

-----

A sharp nudge to my side caused me to whip around. Alice stood behind me, a large grin on her face. I took my earphones out, sad when I had to stop before getting to my favourite part of 'Spaceman' by the Killers.

"Yes?" I asked. She just stood there, smiling and looking at me.

_Fucking. Creepy._

"Alice, either say something or leave please."

"Guess who just called me?" She asked as she started to rock back and forth on her heels.

"Edward Cullen?" I guessed, laughing when she pouted.

"You already knew? Well that ruins the surprise. Guess what he wanted?" When I shrugged, she squealed happily. "Yay, I still get to surprise you!"

_God, she has had too much coffee today. _

"He wants me to hire him. _Edward. Cullen._ One of the most famous models today wants _me _to hire him! Do you know what this means?"

"It means Bella gets to go back to listening to music and sorting out her schedule while Alice goes and spreads the good news?" I asked hopefully. She glared at me.

"No! It means that we now have two of the best male models with us and if everything works out with Tanya and Lauren, two of the up and coming girls! This is one of the best days of my life!"

_And fuck me drunk if she didn't just start spinning around my tiny office._

"So, when does Edward sign the contract?" I questioned, hoping to calm her down. It seemed to work as she stood still.

"I am thinking that I will try and write it up this week."

"Why can't you use the standard one?" She stared at me like I had just grown five noses and had a hat with a banana sitting on it suddenly. _Then again, who would want a banana hat except monkeys?_

I giggled to myself, my lack of sleep present in my thoughts.

"Bella...it's fucking Edward Cullen! He is already popular worldwide; I can't do anything like I normally do! I am writing up the contract this week and hopefully, if he agrees to it, he will sign it next week."

"Oh, okay," I mumbled, not fully caring anymore.

"And before I forget, Jasper said to say hello." She smiled at me, and it oddly seemed genuine. Hopeful, I began to wonder if maybe Jasper had told her and she didn't care. "I'm glad you two have become friends. It won't make it as awkward when you get a boy and we go on double dates!" And that, ladies and gents, is why I avoid being hopeful.

_Ugh._

The thought of them together was unpleasant to say the least and I actually felt sick.

"Bella...are you okay?" Alice asked, her previous excitement vanishing as I began to feel dizzy.

"I think it was the sushi," I mumbled before running to the bathroom.

As Alice held back my hair, all I could picture was Jasper doing the same for her, her tiny frame swamped by her growing stomach.

The idea of Alice pregnant with Jasper's child, though not even possible yet, made me throw up even more.

-----

Curling up in my bed, smiling as I realized I could still smell Jasper. Reaching for my phone and the remote for my television, I couldn't help but let the pain and worry of the day come back because at any moment, I would get to hear his voice and I knew I would feel better.

----

The two episodes I watched of 'The Simpsons' seemed nowhere near as funny as usual, nor did the hour of Judge Judy amuse me at all. It was like laughter ceased to exist when I was waiting for his voice.

At one in the morning, after showering despite fearing I would miss the call that was meant to come four hours earlier, I decided to give up and go to bed. It hit me like a truck; Jasper wasn't going to call.

I held my pillows tight, wincing when the signature scent of Jasper reached my nose. Tears began to flow silently as I finally figured out that, despite his proclamation of the possibility of loving me, he wasn't going to call. I was a one night stand, nothing more and nothing less.

----

Drifting off into slumber, the edges of deep sleep trying to tug me in, the sound of my phone ringing startled me.

Trying desperately not to allow myself to become hopeful, I flipped the screen open. My stomach began flipping too, the butterflies fluttering wildly as I saw the only name I wanted to see tonight.

_Jasper._

* * *

**A/N: Haha. I hope you don't hate me for this. It felt like a sweet place to end it. This chapter was the hardest yet. The one shot was purposefully written to be all pretty sounding, so I hope you aren't mad that everything else will just be my usual writing xD**

**It was hard because I also had no idea how to get Alice to interrogate Jasper. She 'loves' him but she also is sort of upset with him...I hope she came off alright...**

**And yeah. I am sure you will all be coming up with theories now. I 'hinted' at about 6 different possibly plot lines. Ha-ha. Please review with guesses!**

**Again: THIS IS COMPLETELY NEW. Ya'll have absolutely no reason not to review now! Do you think we can get to 30 reviews? Ha-ha. That would be amazing, considering I wrote this while my family fought around me. **

**I hope you liked it, even if something about it bugged me, and review either way :D**


	7. Mango Tree

**A/N: Okay. So we got absolutely nowhere near 30 reviews, which doesn't really surprise me. What did surprise me is how if every single person who read this yesterday alone reviewed, I would of received over 250 reviews. Not to mention, this month, if the same happened I would have over 1,000.**

**Kind of makes me sad, but oh well. Just makes me love the sweethearts who review even more. And hopefully those people can tell that I love them...;) haha**

**Anyways. Back to where we left off:**

_-------_

_Drifting off into slumber, the edges of deep sleep trying to tug me in, the sound of my phone ringing startled me._

_Trying desperately not to allow myself to become hopeful, I flipped the screen open. My stomach began flipping too, the butterflies fluttering wildly as I saw the only name I wanted to see tonight._

Jasper.

_---------_

**BPOV**

--------

Holding the phone to my ear, my hands almost shaking, I waited for him to speak.

"Oh Bella, thank god you are still awake," he said quickly.

"Jasper?" I whispered quietly. "I thought you weren't going to call me." I punctuated my sentence with a sleepy sniffle.

He sighed softly into the phone. "Darlin', I'm so sorry. I let time get away from me. I was playing guitar to try and distract myself from waiting to call you. I guess it worked too well," he chuckled nervously and I could picture him; one hand holding the phone and the other tugging his blond hair.

"It's okay," I mumbled as I tried to stifle a yawn.

"Fuck, I woke you up didn't I? I'm so very sorry, Bella. I'll let you go."

Panic stuck through me and suddenly I couldn't speak fast enough. "No, no, no, no, no, no," I quickly mumbled. "Please don't leave me."

With a smile in his voice, he spoke into the phone. "I'm never gonna leave you."

Those five words healed the tears my heart had begun to form minutes earlier.

-----

"What songs were you playing?" I asked him. I wanted to ask if I could hear him play, but it was something I wanted to experience live rather than over the phone.

"I was mostly trying to learn a song called Mango Tree." It sounded familiar. Almost immediately I remembered.

"The one by Angus and Julia Stone?"

He laughed quietly. "Of course you know it. I forgot how similar our taste is."

-----

"What other instruments do you play?" I asked as we tried to learn more about each other. I felt like I had known him my whole life, and yet I felt like I didn't know a single fact about him.

"Well guitar is my main instrument that I play. I've been playing that since I was five. All up I can play guitar -electric and acoustic-, piano, drums, saxophone, banjo and a ukulele." I giggled at the image of Jasper, decked in a suit in a large band...playing the ukulele.

"Are you laughing at me, Miss Swan?" Jasper asked and I could hear that he was trying not to laugh himself.

I attempted to answer but it came out as "Nahahahhaaooo."

That sent him over the edge, his laughter finally escaping.

----

When our laughter finally finished, he sighed sweetly into the phone. I asked him why he did so, and he answered me with his words as gentle as the breeze in summer.

"Your laughter...it's the best sound I've ever heard in my life."

I giggled, a blush sweeping my cheeks that hurt from smiling, the previous heartache completely forgotten.

"But that giggle..." he drawled out, the smile in his voice even more prominent. It was like he was radiating sunshine or something.

"That comes a close second," he finally finished. He was acting like the cheesiest fool who was talking to a girl he really liked.

The comprehension that he practically was a cheesy fool talking to a girl he liked only made me giggle more.

------

"So, let me get this straight...You had a dream the night before Halloween that you could fly..."

"Yes."

"And you thought it was a fucking sign that you should try to fly the next night at the party?"

"Yes."

"So you made your mum go and buy you a bunny suit so that at the party you could jump off your friend's roof and try?"

"And your mum bought you the suit and you jumped off a roof?" he cried out, almost chocking on laughter. The times that this conversation had happened before usually made me upset. I mean, having people doubt your intelligence while teasing you isn't normally pleasant.

The only difference this time is that I would do anything to hear his laughter, something I was hearing a lot already tonight yet nowhere near enough yet.

"I was only ten years old! How was I meant to know that dressed-as-a-bunny Bella can't fly, just like human Bella can't?"

"Oh I don't know, common sense maybe?" He laughed louder as I finally joined him despite being embarrassed that I told him this.

"Don't worry, Picture Girl..." he started. "When I was seven my uncle and aunt were getting married. During the reception their son was high and hallucinating. He decided I was an elephant," he stopped, chuckling quietly. "A big, pink elephant."

"That hardly beats my story!"

"I wasn't finished sweetheart..." He kept chuckling but didn't keep speaking.

"Well?"

"He kidnapped me basically, took me into his room and kept me there for two hours. My parents found me tied to chair being force fed popcorn. I've been afraid of popcorn ever since."

He stopped chuckling, waiting for me to talk I assumed.

Smiling, I answered this gorgeous model that was somehow into me...and afraid of popcorn. "Okay, model boy, you win this round."

-----

**JPOV**

"Hey Jasper, I have an idea," she spoke excitedly into the phone. "We should go on a date somewhere away from here; somewhere where no one knows Alice."

God, the idea of being able to go far away from here with her and kiss her anytime I wanted, to spoil her and show her how much I cared for her was so fucking tempting. I hated having to tell her this, but someone had to be the voice of reason. "Bella, do you know who I am?" I asked.

"Of course I do. You are Jasper Whitlock. The most handsome and sweetest guy I have ever met. A charming man and famous mod-. Oh. Right."

"I'm sorry, Darlin'."

"Wait, I have another idea! What if we both wore disguises?"

Hating the sadness her voice had from before, and knowing this idea probably wasn't very bright, I should have said no.

Of course, because I had the sweetest girl on the other line, I didn't say that.

I chuckled, and mumbled a quiet "Sure." I continued, trying to lighten the mood, by saying "I refuse to wear a goatee though."

The laugh I received made it worth semi-lying.

-----

By the time three in the morning rolled around, I could tell she was getting sleepy. Her breathing was slowing down and deepening, and while she denied it, I heard her yawn repeatedly over the music I had playing in the background.

"Bella, you're tired..."

"No I'm not." I could almost picture her pretty little petal-like lips pouting. She was stubborn, I was learning. A loud yawn came from her end, and she knew I had heard her. "Mmkay, I'm tired."

She didn't say anything more and I was about to say goodnight. 'Mango Tree' began to play through my speakers, causing me to smile.

"Good night, Picture Girl..."

"But I wanted to ask you something..." she yawned again.

"Okay darlin', but only one more and then you are going to sleep."

The soft breathing, while otherwise silent, on the other line made me wonder if she had fallen to sleep.

I waited a moment, waiting for her to say anything, before my fingers reached for the end call button.

"Jasper," her quiet mumble reached my ears just in time. I put the phone back to my ear and waited again. I didn't have to wait long, as she began to speak so softly I wondered if she was sleep talking.

"Can I have you?" she mumbled in time with the music.

_I wish I had a mango tree  
In my backyard  
With you standing next to me  
Take the picture_

_  
From her lips I heard her say  
"Can I have you?"  
Caught up on what to say  
_

I said "You do."

----------

**Authors Note;**

**So, it was sort of a filler again but I really loved it. Mango tree is a beautiful song, and incase anyone was confused at the end Bella attempted to mumble along with the song in which a girl asks a boy "Can I have you?" and the boy says "You do." **

**So that's why I put the lyrics in there.**

**Hope you all understood it xD**

**BTW; To 'You know who' I hope I did alright with the bunnies and elephants xD**

**And to 'Other you know who' your 'you know what' will be in the next chapter. Bahaha.**

**Thanks guys.**

**Review please, even if just to say I love it or I hate it. **


	8. Quenching Curiousity Q&A Not a chapter

**THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER. THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER. THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER.**

**YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ IT ANYWAYS. GO AHEAD, READ IT ANYWAYS. xD**

**There were just so many damn questions to answer and I didn't want to have an epically long AN next chapter.**

**This does answer a few questions, and if you look carefully it has some plot hints. Of course, you don't have to read this, but it might give you some ideas of what is to come.**

**Next chapter will be up in a few hours, I am just writing it now. -only 1,000 words are written and it looks like a semi long chapter, or a chapter that had mostly filler. I will choose when I finished it whether to post it as a filler or a 4,000 word or so chapter -shrug-**

_**--**_

**Are Alice and Jasper together/engaged/married?**

No. Bella, Jasper and Alice are all single...for now. Alice likes Jasper though, and I guess called shotgun so to speak. Bella is _trying_ to respect friend code. Not working too well really. Haha.

**--**

**Are your updates always going to be so speedy?**

I would love to say yes, but I am actually on holidays at the moment. Friday - and yes, what kind of fucked up school makes me start the school year on Friday?- is when I go back. Thursday for America since my time zone is different.

This means in about 4 days I will be at school. Then again, I plan to not hang with my 'friends' as much since they aren't too nice lately...so maybe I will end up in the Library writing. Who knows? Either way I will be posting at least once every 10 days. If I get enough reviews, I will post faster. I am not a very self-motivated person. So if you are all nice and review tonnes, I will probably kick my ass into gear and write more and subsequently post more.

--

**How long will this be?**

Ideally I would love for it to be 100,000 words or more. I feel like short stories are great when you are going to have a happily ever after, but that is not what I want. Jasper, Bella and Alice -plus characters that will be involved soon- are complicated. I want to give this story the proper time to be explained and explored as I feel the emotions of these characters run deeper than the surface. Because of this, it won't have the typical happy ending of Fanfiction normalcy. I want a nice and realistic ending...I think.

I will have around 50 chapters I believe, each under 4,000 words but over 1,000. These numbers do not include A/Ns. If I feel it is dragging on, or I have a brilliant brainwave however, these numbers will change accordingly.

**--**

**What will the ultimate pairing be?**

This is a tough question to answer without giving away the final plot. While I love the idea of Jasper and Bella as a coupling, I love them because they are so messed up when put together. They are one of the hardest pairings to imagine together in the original books because they spend so little time together, yet I feel like they make a great pair.

While I would love to say that Jasper and Bella will get the happy ending most people want for them, I can stay I will be aiming to stick to my usual style. What is my usual style? Realistic endings; happy, sad, angry or broken- no matter what I want to make it real. I guess you could say that my upbringing made me more prone to like the real stories that tugged at your heartstrings and make you think 'Fuck. The world is a pretty dark and sad place, but look at the magic you can find if you try hard enough.' I hated fairytales because these days hardly anyone gets a happy ending, and they give false hope to naive kids.

If having the happy ending suits the progression, yeah it will happen. If not, it won't.

This all being said, there will be a fair bit of angst, lots of fluff and if I stop blushing long enough to post it, maybe some lemons...But if you want a purely lemon fic, go read something else. I rate plot way above sex. Lemons in writing, for me anyways, are a treat not a given. You love me more when its rare ;)

**Also, considering the length I desire, I want to add a few other side plots that may include Jasper and/or Bella dating others.**

**--**

**What is Bella's job exactly? **

Oops. Guess I didn't make this clear. She was trying to be a freelance photographer but she wasn't making enough money. Alice was already her best friend and needed someone to quickly take some photos of one of her clients. Bella did and Alice really liked her style. Alice then hired her as an on-hand photographer. So basically she does any headshots or anything Alice needs done.

She also works outside of Alice's agency, doing other shoots for other clients to earn extra cash. She simply stays working from Alice's agency year round for convenience and also as like a 'Back-up Alice' for when Alice is away, which is why Jessica- the assistant- went to Bella when a client called while Alice was out.

Hopefully this made sense. So recap - On hand photographer for the agency who also works for other clients. Mostly does fashion photography.

--

**What happened to Jasper in his childhood?**

He, as he said previously, had a tough childhood. I am toying with the idea of leaving this up to the readers imagination or using it for a future plot point. I will say, clearly he was abused. Exactly how, and by who and why, will be explored later or not at all. If you really want to know, it might be said.

--

**Why is Bella so willing to leave a guy she might/does/is close to loving?**

This is something that will be spoken about next chapter. I will say though, there are more than the reasons that you will hear soon. The biggest is Alice is her best friend, and she is trying to follow the 'Friend' laws. Another reason is that she is the type of person to sacrifice a lot to be happy. There is more than this, but it is a secret for now, haha.

--

**Why is Jasper willing to give it up?**

Is he? Ha-ha. Jasper is so amazed at finding someone who understands him, even slightly, that I think he wants to have them as a friend. If he gets to love her, that's a bonus. Again, the reasons will be explored soon. I can say that it does have to do with his childhood. Jasper is reserved and maybe he thinks Bella is stupid and silly for giving up this connection, or maybe he agrees.

**WOO. That was long. Sorry guys! Haha. I wanted to answer the questions though.**

**Also, feel free to review this anyways. I want to know if anyone was happy I answered these, or if you have anymore questions.**


	9. Silent Suffering

**I am so happy that the reviews are starting to pick up. I am probably the most self conscious person you might ever meet, so reviews make me less scared to write. Also, I write to better express myself and help myself with some stuff that happened as a child. So please, understand that I am not just writing for reviews or to become popular. I am writing to become a better person. I know, sounds stupid...Anyways....**

**On to Chapter Eight!**

**P.S Sorry if you hate this chapter, but I felt you needed to understand the characters better. Bella is first up and it starts to explain why on Earth she is putting Alice above herself.**

---------------

Waking up this morning was the hardest it had ever been. It wasn't due to my lack of sleep, although that wasn't helping, but because of the dreams I had to leave. I was pleasantly surprised by my lack of nightmares, however the fact that I was too afraid to leave my couch until four in the morning made we wonder if horror movies where a good distraction from Jasper drought. The reason though, that waking up this morning was so hard, was because of how amazing my dreaming had been.

Dream-world was much nicer than reality, considering unconsciousness meant being able to be with Jasper completely. In my dreams, Jasper was mine.

We didn't have anyone interfering; we were a pair and were able to be a pair. It was amazing, going on dates with him, kissing him in public. The fact that in my dreams I would wake up to a pair of toned arms wrapped around me made it all that worse when I woke up to a cold bed and the sound of a beeping alarm clock.

I wanted nothing more to return to bed and go back to the only place that Jasper and I could be, publically, a couple.

I began to worry slightly when I realized that in reality, I had no claim on him. We weren't even _privately_ a couple.

I suddenly had the need for a cigarette, something that had not occurred in years.

----

Seated at my kitchen table, coffee in one hand and cigarette in the other, I thought about my options. I could do what I had originally planned, the thing I had done since I was a kid.

Put everyone else's happiness above my own.

----

From a young age, I was my mother's pacifier so to speak. When she had issues, I was the one who filled her with false promises of 'it will be okay' and 'it's going to get better'. She should have been doing that for me instead, but it was her who seemed to be the child in our relationship. I spent my youth being my mother's mother. I knew that I was probably more messed up than her, yet I pushed my problems aside and helped her.

When I was fourteen, a boy at school had asked me to the fall dance. I said no, already knowing that I didn't want to go. The next day his ex-girlfriend had heard what happened and three of her friends joined her in abusing me. I wanted to bawl my eyes out and just have my mother comfort me for once.

Instead, she decided that was the day to tell me that she was still in love with my father who she divorced, so I had to spend hours telling her that she would have been miserable with Charlie because they simply didn't work. I cooked dinner, cleaned the house and baked her some cupcakes to cheer her up.

I never told my mother that I had been beaten up at school. I simply suffered in silence. She never even noticed my split lip or black eye. Her care for herself had given her rose coloured glasses when it came to me.

The same happened when I moved to Forks, Washington. I had left my home with Renee at sixteen, a few months after my mother had remarried. She wanted to travel will her new husband, but stayed home with me. It was the one time she did something un-selfish, but I was never grateful for it. She spent every day crying and complaining to the point where I finally left and moved.

Charlie, my father, was incredibly awkward and adorably fatherly. I think he understood me better than my mother could ever dream of. He knew when to ask questions and when to leave me alone. Her never hovered and yet showed me the exact right amount of attention.

I regretted not moving sooner.

It was his perfectly un-perfect attitude that made it impossible to ever act unhappy around him though. He was so sweet and caring that I refused to make him feel guilty or worry by being upset.

So, once again, I suffered in silence.

It became a habit. If I was upset, I tried to hide it from everyone as much as possible. I guess it made me bottle all my emotions, but during my childhood it seemed necessary and now it was just who I am.

I suddenly felt shame wash over me when I realized I had spent half of my time with Jasper crying or whinging.

_Note to self; never weep or complain in Jasper's presence unless it is completely unavoidable._

----

Suffering in silence and putting Alice's happiness above my own seemed like the most likely to happen. It meant I could keep my best friend un-harmed and innocent. She wouldn't have to deal with heartbreak yet, nor would she have to deal with being unwanted. Jasper could have the chance to be happy too, and he would not be alone.

_But I would._

I sighed before taking a large gulp of the steaming hot beverage in my hand. Maybe if I drunk enough caffeine I would think clearer, or at least be peppy enough that Alice would not become suspicious.

----

"Bella, what do you think?" I looked up to see Alice, hands on hips and eyes squinted.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Jesus Christ," she muttered under her breathe before speaking louder. "Have you heard anything I have said today?"

_"No, Alice, I have not. I have been too busy thinking of ways to make you happy and make myself fall out of love. But you know, feel free to bitch at me anyways. You don't know any better."_

"If I say no, am I fired?" I jokingly said. She still seemed annoyed, and I realized teasing was not a smart move. "Sorry. I have a lot on my mind today. What am I supposed to have an opinion on?"

"I was talking about the_ contract_, Bella. Do you think I need to add or change anything?" She put about twenty pages, neatly stapled in order, on my desk. I began to skim it, nodding as I read in hopes that Alice wouldn't notice that quite honestly...

_I. Did. Not. Give. A. Shit._

"So, what do you think?" she asked excitedly, like this was something special, her prior bad mood now un-noticeable against her pride and glee. To me it was just a contract with extra zeros after the dollar sign. I turned to her with a fake smile plastered on my face while I wondered if she noticed my desperation to go back to my own work, or at least back to my thoughts and daydreaming.

"It's perfect, Alice. Great job," I complimented her as I turned back to my desk, hoping she would get the hint.

"Are you sure?" she asked, pulling my shoulder so I had to turn back to her. "I mean, I really need him to sign this so it has to be perfect. And I mean it Bella; it can't just be almost perfect it has to be more than one hundred percent _perfect._ I _need_ to have Edward Cullen under my agency. It will mean wonders for the business!"

"Alice, I understand. It's absolutely perfect." _Now, please leave me alone. For the love of God, leave me alone. _"I don't mean to be rude, but _I really _need to get back to work."

Hazel eyes bore into brown as she stared at me. I felt self conscious, like she was trying to decipher sometime in my face. I closed my eyes and turned, once again, back to my desk.

"Thank you, Bella. You have been really patient with me and I'm sorry if I sometimes get under your skin. I'm just so desperate to make it, you know?" Stunned, I looked at her as she twirled a piece of hair around her finger and tucked it behind her ear. "I just...You know I love you, right?" I nodded, not fully knowing if I did or not. "If you ever need a break, just let me know. I mean, I would prefer it to be before or after Paris...but other than that, you can have as long as you want off okay?"

"Alice? Where is this coming from? I mean, I am really grateful, but this seems kind of..." I struggled to find the right words. "Weird."

"I noticed you looked tired and," she stared at me for a moment, her large eyes flickering all over my face. "You look quite sad, Bella." She pulled me in for one of her too tight, yet comforting, hugs. It was so familiar, yet unfamiliar. Comfortable, yet awkwardly handled due to my seated position. "I feel like we are beginning to drift apart," she murmured into my hair, her small hands clutching me tighter.

It was the first time since I had met Jasper over a week ago that I felt something other than guilt, annoyance, resentment, hate or despair when I thought of Alice.

With her here, trying to make me feel better and not even questioning me, I realized I had no reason to hate her. She was just a friend who unknowingly loves the guy I want. She never planned this, and for all she knew she actually had a chance with Jasper.

It was unreasonable to hate her for loving him but I couldn't help but hold a small distaste for her because of it.

Something my father once told me suddenly played in my head.

----

"Love is completely unfair, unreliable and unreasonable," he said in response to my questions about my mother. We both knew that it would have been there eighteenth anniversary of being together, had they stayed together. I think it was our silent way of acknowledging it without saying it outright. It was one of the few times we talked deeply, and I remembered adoring someone treating me like an adult verbally but still taking care of me.

"Then why does everyone crave it so much?"

"Because, kiddo." He stood and ruffled my hair, his hands immediately picking up his empty beer bottle and my empty water bottle the second they were free. As he walked to the kitchen to get another drink for both of us, he stared at a picture of my mother and me.

The expression he had while staring at the picture was brief, but I could tell in that moment that regardless of the pain my mother caused him, for some bizarre reason he still loved her.

He gave me that reason in his next sentence. He spoke while staring at the picture, but his words were loud enough that they were clearly for me.

"Love is what it is. It hurts, and excuse me swearing this once, but if fucking sucks sometimes. But those few moments in a lifetime, when someone looks at you and you can tell that no matter what has happened before, or will happen in the future, that person would rather be nowhere else.

They look at you with...love. There is this way some people look at others and you would swear that they are a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Hell, even sometimes the way someone holds your hand or smiles at you, you can feel that you mean the world to them at that exact second."

He walked to the kitchen while I sat there, thinking about what he had said. It was then that I realized that it was the longest I had ever heard my father speak in my life.

I wondered how often my mother had made him feel like that, and if I would ever experience that; the feeling, the touch or the look he had described.

He returned a few minutes later, and I swore he had been crying due to the slight glisten of his eyes that made them appear wet. He gave me my water, as he opened his beer. He took a long drink before turning to me and squeezing my shoulder. "It's those rare moments; the ones where you feel at home no matter where you are that make love worth it, Bells."

Later that night, when I was about to go to bed, my father had called me in to his room. I stood at the door, pretending not to notice the photo albums from my newborn years in which my mother was frequently photographed. I pretended not to notice the tears in his eyes or the way his voice shook when he spoke, or the pain he so clearly felt.

Because like me, Charlie was the 'suffer in silence type.' I knew that we both knew how he felt, but also knew that he would rather me leave him to mourn, so to speak.

"Come here, Bells." He patted the spot beside him on the bed, which I took. Leaning on him, trying to give him affection without being too obvious, I wrapped an arm around him.

"I want you to promise me something, okay?" He must have felt my head nodding against his shoulder, as he continued. "If you find that love that I talked about today, never let it go. Even if it tries to leave, don't let it. Reach out with both hands and hold it as tight as you can," he murmured.

_What happened to if you love it, let it go, if it come back that's how you know? _I thought.

I assumed I had only thought them, but a few minutes later after we had said our goodnights, I realized I must have spoken them.

As my hand reached for his bedroom light on my way out, I heard him murmur.

"_Those who say let love go never had love never come back."_

----

Pulled out of my thoughts by a semi-loud noise, I realized Alice had left the room and closed the door.

----

For the next few hours I had that conversation with my father playing in my head. His words had never held much meaning before, I guess because even the idea me being in love seemed impossible.

I considered all my options and realized something.

_There was no fucking way I was suffering in silence this time. _

_----_

**Author's Note;**

**Ahem...**

**I don't really have interesting to say, other than this is my longest chapter yet I think. My brain went into overload and I realized what I had originally planned just would not do.**

**I feel bad for Charlie. I nearly cried writing the part with him. I am such a sap lately. Did anyone else feel bad for ol' Charlie Swan?**

**I thank some of my girls who are reviewers, because honestly if not for them I would probably have spent today in bed really sad. I have a lot of life stuff going on, and I have to suffer in silence.**

**Sorry if anyone got pissed by how much back-story happened here, but it was necessary. I think you guys can understand why it was, and if not just think. Do you think a completely happy with her life person would be willing to suffer in silence? Not likely, sweets.**

**ANYWAYS; Reviews are amazing. Heck, this would have been 1,000 words of...filler again. Instead you get a turn in plot! Bella has a plan now. -is laughing out loud right now cause you are all in the dark so to speak-**

**Thanks again, reviews are a golden way to thank me back.**

**I love you all, **

**Jade.**


	10. DON'T READ, SKIP TO NEXT CHAPTER

Authors Note;

-face fucking palm-

I have found a few plot holes, which are entirely my own fault. Example, why was it fine for Jasper and Bella to go back to her place without any fear of the paparazzi but they can't go out now?

And ugh, just a bunch of other stuff that makes me feel like a shit author who should finish writing a story before posting.

I also just have so much shit going on in life, and I am pretty miserable.

I have no idea what to do, and it seems like my options are keep writing and get annoyed at my mistakes or stop and write the whole story, then replace stuff.

The second option is what I am doing for my other stories, which I planned to write again when finishing this.

I am really sorry, and I am a horrible author. I just....

Life sucks for me right now, and I don't have writers block at all by I keep finding loopholes that annoy the shit out of me.

I am so close to deleting all my stories, just so no one has to deal with my shitty writing and....shit. Sorry guys, I am rambling.

Basically, I don't know what I want to do right now, and I am just letting you know since I was updating almost every 2 days before.

So...yeah.

Feel free to flame me, I deserve it.

-goes and crawls into bed in tears-


	11. Candy Hearts

**DEAR READERS;**

**I want to apologize for my behaviour yesterday. I had a lot on my mind, and to put it into perspective the **_**least**_** of my worries was the anniversary of a death in the family.**

**I was extremely stressed, but after forgetting about any commitments and trying to relax, my mind cleared itself. This chapter stressed me out, because I had what I am calling 'Reverse Writers Block.' What is this? It is not having no ideas, it is having too many. I literally wrote over five chapters for this, as well as a couple snippets that I have saved but did not end up using. This was stressing me out, because every time a new possible chapter idea came to me half way through a current one, I second guessed the old idea.**

**Instead, a few hours ago during lunchtime in the library, I planned out this chapter. Hopefully you approve.**

**Also, thank you to the five readers who reviewed with messages of approval, 'don't worry's' and the like. They motivated me to work on this today. Thank you, thank you, thank you and you may all have Jasper on your birthdays.**

**He comes dressed in a bow! :D**

**And nothing else...bahaha.**

Much love sent to everyone, and thanks again for being understanding during my meltdown.

------

**Alice**

-----

I am staring into his blue eyes.

He is glaring into mine.

"How could you?" he whispers.

I go to explain, but immediately stop. I am silenced by the hate and anger blazing in his eyes. The contrast is startling; blue as ice yet as flaming as fire.

He opens his mouth to speak again which causes my eyes to drift back to his lips. In confusion, I watch his mouth form the words that I never expect.

"_You are a fucking murderer."_

-----

I woke up, drenched in sweat. I rubbed my eyes as my body slowed its shaking.

The nightmares were worse than they had been for a while last night.

------

"You have nine new messages," the automated voice on my mobile phone tells me. "The first message was received at ten past two on the twentieth of March."

The messages began to play, all from yesterday or this morning; all of them from my mother, father, sister or grandmother; all of them proclaiming their disgust towards me, their lack of faith or their confusion.

After the sixth message I pressed 'Delete all' and wiped my tears. I murmured the familiar chant in my head as I took deep breaths.

"_Be strong."_

_----------_

**Jasper**

----------

I lazily strummed my guitar, a happy sigh escaping as the sunrise bathed my balcony in warmth. It wasn't often that I had a completely free day, let alone a sunny and warm one, and I planned to enjoy every minute of it. I had already done one thing I hadn't done in months; play guitar while watching the sun rising.

The only thing that could make it better was if Bella was seated beside me.

----

Phone in hand, ice tea in the other, I was stuck. I had no idea what time Bella usually woke up, and while it was past nine, she might have been sleeping in. She had the day off too if I remembered correctly, and I didn't want to ruin it.

I finally decided to allow her to enjoy her day. Placing my phone on the table, I picked up the television remote.

"No he ain't my baby's daddy! I ain't sleeping with him, bitch!"

"Perhaps Maury Povich will distract me from a sweet little brunette..." I muttered to nobody in particular.

_-----_

The sound of my phone vibrating on my table excited me, the sadness from her lack of presence dissipating slightly.

_Please be Bella, please be Bella._

The slight swelling of hope turned into fully fledged joy when I saw her name flash on the screen.

'_I know it's your day off, so I hope your phone is on silent in case you are asleep._

_Just text me back when the most beautiful person in the world wakes up._

_I miss you.'_

Smiling at her message, I realized how backwards we were. Usually the male spent his time reminding the girl of her beauty, and while I tried to, Bella always seemed to be one up.

Plans of extravagant nature swimming in my head, I texted her back.

'_I'm awake. What time did you wake up? '_

It didn't take long for her to reply, and I wondered if, like me, she was sitting there waiting to reply.

"Note to self - Stop thinking like such a girl," I muttered while I opened her message.

'_Around eight in the morning. I wanted to text you earlier, but I didn't want to disturb you on your day off.'_

Laughing at our similar thoughts, I replied with a message sure to confuse her.

'_Oh. Well then eight in the morning.'_

It took a few minutes for her to reply and I pictured her, staring at the message with a puzzle expression and trying to understand.

'_Okay, I didn't have my coffee today, so excuse me if I'm slow..._

_But what the fuck?'_

_-_

'_You told me to text you when the most beautiful person in the world woke up. You said you woke up at eight, so...'_

_-_

'_You are much too sweet Jasper.'_

_-_

"_It's the Texan charm, darlin'.'_

_-_

'_I hate to go, but I have to shower and do some errands today._

_P.S Thank you for making my day that much sweeter.'_

-

'_Anytime, sweetheart. Have a good day, and try not to get in trouble.'_

_-_

'_I'll try and keep out of troubles way. Enjoy your day off, and practice some guitar. Next time we see each other I am demanding to be serenaded ;)_

_I shall talk to you later, cowboy.'_

--------

**Bella**

-------

While drying my hair, I realized I had missed a text from Jasper. As I flipped my phone, my stomach flipped too as my heart jumped enthusiastically.

'_I'll be counting down the seconds.'_

I closed it, and realized I had not one but two text messages from Jasper.

'_P.S I really fucking miss you too, Picture Girl.'_

_-----_

As I did my weekly shopping, I couldn't help but feel lonely. I had always seen people in grocery stores, partner in tow, and wondered why they would need a second person to help them.

It was now I understood it wasn't a need, but a want. While watching the couple's shop, their hands linked over the handles of trolleys, I realized that even the simple things are wonderful when you had someone you loved with you.

I just wished I was able to enjoy those moments, the simple pleasures of life, with Jasper one day.

_Don't get yourself down, Bella. This is why you made the plan to be with him after Paris. _

I smiled to myself when I realized that in a few months I _would_ have those moments. I would make sure of that.

Suddenly shopping wasn't as depressing.

-----

It was during my stroll down the candy aisle, when I saw the love heart lollies that an idea struck me.

After typing a quick message to Alice, I waited. She always called people back, hating how long it took her manicured nails to manoeuvre the keypad for typing.

"Hey Bella, what's up?" Her tone was slightly down, but my selfishness led me to not question it further.

"Well I was wondering if you could give me Jasper's address."

She was silent for a few moments and I wondered if I should have just called Jasper instead and ruin any surprise element.

"Why do you need it?" Her tone was changing now, and while it was still dipped in sadness it was beginning to become tainted by suspicion.

"I found a credit card of his when I was doing some clean up. I thought I'd go drop it over before he gets it cancelled."

"Oh, if you want you can give it to me tomorrow and I'll give it to him."

Trying to think on my feet, I remembered something that was my saviour at this moment.

"Alice, don't tell me you forgot again?" I paused for a minute, smiling at how believable my voice sounded. "I get the next week off to plan a few months worth of shooting. Remember? You wanted me to have them done so you can confirm the details and model's times before you go to Paris..."

"Oh..." she paused again. "Oh! Of course, I'm sorry babe; I forgot that you asked if you could do it at home this year. So do you want me to text him your address? That way you can check on it if you get lost. Knowing you, you will be." She laughed quietly and I tried to fight a smile. This couldn't have worked out any better.

"That'd be great Alice."

----

Double checking my cart, I realized I forgot the whipped cream.

As I pushed my trolley to the dairy aisle, I made sure I had everything.

_Makings for burritos? Check._

_All the stuff for nachos? Yep._

_Cupcakes and cookie mixture? Yes ma'am._

_Sundaes? Fuck. Yeah._

_-----_

I ran home quickly, glad that I styled my hair nicely - and that it stayed- after the shower earlier today. Stuffing my legs into the tightest pair of skinny jeans I owned and a simple midnight blue shirt with a surprise backless cut, I fretted over the shoes to wear.

Originally going for the black converse, I began to doubt myself when I realized that most girls would wear heels or at the very least some pretty flats on a date - even if they were just going to the guy's house.

Going with my gut, I grabbed the converse anyways.

----

After packing an overnight bag with the hopes that it would prove itself necessary, I made a detour to the local video store. I made my way to the horrors and comedies, and avoided the romance section. Love triangles weren't entertaining lately.

The clerk, who was at least eighteen, eyed me like I was a piece of meat. The blush was involuntary, though I had to admit it made me feel less nervous about my choice of outfit.

-----

Pulling into the street on which Jasper lived, I found myself have a mini-meltdown. I was already intimidated by Jasper himself, and the size of his house or the lovely neighbourhood he lived in did nothing to qualm my fears.

Parked in his driveway, I quickly checked myself in the mirror. Once my outfit and hair had been fixed to as close as perfection I could gain, I grabbed as many of the bags as I could.

I walked to his doorway, and ringed his doorbell. As I waited, I heard familiar sounds.

_Jasper moaning._

I rang the doorbell again, and tried to delude myself into thinking that I was imagining things.

Then Jasper had to go and answer the fucking door in a pair of boxers, face flushed and eyes too bright.

--------------

**A/N: Lalalalalaala.**

**So hopefully this was worth my mini-meltdown XD**

_**Oh hai der Alice, so nice of you to have a secret plot that no one saw coming! Haha.**_

**Reviews make me happy, which I need right now.**

**If we get to 10, I will go to the library every 10 days so I will probably post that often.**

**If we get to 15, I will go to the library every 8 days.**

**20 will mean once a week.**

**More than 20? Well I am not even going to delude myself into thinking I can get that much. LOL.**

**Thanks again for putting up with a silly writer. There is also a poll on my profile regarding a possible sequel, I'd appreciate some people going and voting, ya'll.**


	12. You and Your Hand

**A/N: I am incredibly sorry for my lack of updating this month. I swear it was not because of my review request about wanting a certain number before I updated, because honestly I never end up sticking to those things anyway, I just update when I finish the chapter. **

**So why the long wait? I have been sick. Probably the worst sickness I have had since I was born. Some of my organs became infected and started to shut down. This caused me great pain and I haven't been able to write. I assure you that in any time that I felt well enough to, I tried to write but then I'd suddenly have my fever come back, or my body would start to try and save itself by shutting down my movement.**

**When I was feeling least sick, I often had no energy since I haven't been able to eat. (As it stands, this week I have had one sandwich and few bites of fruit salad - not kidding, that's all I've eaten)**

**And I am just saying, my fever got so high (43 degrees or 109.4 Fahrenheit for some of you) that my body started convulsions. Not fun at all.**

**So I am feeling a bit better, but it has been pretty touch and go. I should be fine, but I felt the need to explain myself.**

**Thank you for the lovely reviews also! I managed to receive TEN which was pretty fucking exciting. That is the most for one chapter of a multi chapter story I have ever had ^^**

**Thank you also for your patience, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**P.S I don't own Twilight, SM does, but if I did own Twilight Jasper and Bella would have happened instead of Edward and Bella.**

**And they'd be nudists.**

**And I'd be Bella.**

**And you'd all get to be in there too.**

**;)**

----------

_As I waited, I heard familiar sounds._

Jasper moaning.

_I rang the doorbell again, and tried to delude myself into thinking that I was imagining things._

_Then Jasper had to go and answer the fucking door in a pair of boxers, face flushed and eyes too bright._

-----

His eyes widened at the sight of me on his doorstep, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly as he took in a shuddering breath.

"What are you doing here?" he gasped out.

-----

The realization that I had no reason to be angry or even frustrated left me with one emotion left. Tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to remind myself that I would still get to be his friend. He hadn't betrayed me.

_He wasn't mine._

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I'll let you get back to...you know." I turned, preparing to go home and cry my eyes out. I had made it a few steps before I noticed the world was suddenly at an odd angle and moving; I, of course, was fucking falling. I prepared to feel the sting of pain and embarrassment, but instead was jolted backwards.

Jasper grasped me forcefully, his arms wrapping around me as he let out a stream of curses. I struggled to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over, determined to at least spare myself the embarrassment of crying.

"Bella, what on Earth do you think I have to get back to?"

I was silent except for the soft sounds of sniffling as a few tears managed to spill over. He turned me, twisting me so I was facing his face; his strangely saddened and _embarrassed_ face.

The pads of his thumbs hastily rubbed at my cheeks, where those fucking traitor tears were making their silent escape. Pushing his hands off of my face, I tried to leave again.

"You don't have to feel guilty, Jasper. I know I'm not..._anything_. You can go back to whoever you were with."

I made it to my car and finished putting the bags away before he came to me again. As I stood, half way into the driver's seat of my car, four of his fingers wrapped around my wrist as the other hand tilted my chin so I would look at him.

I shut my eyes because I was hurt, embarrassed and just wanted to escape.

"Isabella, will you just look at me for a second? Please?" he cursed quietly under his breath before he grasped my head with both hands. "I'm begging you. Just look at me?"

Opening my eyes, I immediately saw nothing but blue; his eyes. They were different than I had ever seen, even for Jasper. His eyes were always a calming oceanic colour but today they were more beautiful than I had ever seen them; a startling contrast of icy blue, dancing with fire.

"I don't have anyone in there."

For a brief moment, when my mind first registered how sincere he sounded, I allowed myself to believe that he was truthful.

Then I remembered what I had just heard and seen.

A tumble of sentences and words escaped my mouth, all of them similar on topic and in the way that they lacked any formal start or stop. "The moaning, I heard it- and no pants, I mean why aren't you wearing pants Jasper? And-"

A single finger silenced my lips, as he leaned down to make up for the height difference we had. He stared right into my eyes, an action that almost made me want to shy away from the intense look he had.

"I was alone in there; just me, a cold beer, some porn and my right hand." Jasper leaned back, his left hand running through his messy locks. His cheeks regained the colour he had previously began losing as his tongue, a similar pinkish red colour, swept across his top lip. "Now do you see why I was so fucking embarrassed?"

Before I could fully comprehend anything, a stream of giggles burst from me, the relief of the situation so startling.

Jasper _wasn't _in there screwing any busty models, of whom I would never be able to compare to. He _wasn't_ proclaiming love to anyone while thrusting into them, or telling them how beautiful they were while he ghosted his lips over every inch of their body.

_He was just masturbating._

_Jasper was just fucking masturbating, watching some porn and drinking beer._

I giggled more. It wasn't even the girlish and adorable giggles; it was the all-out-snorting-giggles that bordered on hysteria.

It occurred to me, as my snorts became more prominent, that this wasn't really attractive. I tried to slow down the laughter.

"I'm sorry," I said between the last few chuckles.

"Don't apologize Bella," he spoke softly. He stepped forward slightly, closing the gap he had formed during my laughing spell. "I would have thought the same thing if the situation was reversed. Now," he stepped forward again, and rubbed his thumbs across my cheeks to remove the last of my tears. "Mind telling why you are here?" he asked in an amused tone.

----

**Jasper POV**

----

As I brushed away the remaining tears, I waited for her answer. I didn't really mind what her reasoning was, as long as she planned to stay for a few hours - _And she promised to call or text next time she planned to show up here so I could prepare myself. - _But I was curious.

I couldn't help but smile as I felt her cheeks warm up under my thumbs.

"I really missed you...and I kind of just decided 'Fuck it, I am gonna shop up at his house with Mexican food and junk food.'"

It astounded me that she was able to remember something that was said in passing. Not many people remembered people's favourite foods, let alone bring them over as a surprise.

A sudden rush of fear ran through me as I realized how attached I was becoming.

_It's going to kill me when she realizes how much better she can do._

Quickly changing my train of thought, I focused on the good things - like an adorable and blushing woman standing in front of me in tight jeans and a shirt that, unless I saw wrong, was backless.

I leant down to her height like I had done before so I could stare into her eyes easier. A smile flirted on the edges of her lips when she saw the smile I had. And really, how could I not be smiling? The most gorgeous girl I had ever encountered was showing up at my house with my favourite foods because she _missed _me.

"You, Bella Swan, are fucking perfect," I whispered. Once again, my eyes were drawn to her deliciously plump lips. She opened them and I knew her well enough to know refusal at my compliment was about to escape.

Before that could happen, I prematurely silenced her by covering her lips with mine.

She was frozen for a few seconds but soon caught up, her small hands wrapping around my neck to draw me closer as mine moved to her hips, pulling her even tighter against me.

My teeth gently tugged on her bottom lip, biting and nibbling as she shifted her bottom half against mine again.

Not giving a fuck that it was light out, that I was wearing nothing but a wife beater and boxers, or that my neighbours could be getting a show, I slid my arms around her petite waist and lifted her up.

By reflex, she wrapped her legs around me and clung for dear life as she broke away from the kiss to catch her breath.

While Bella sucked air into her lungs, I kicked her car door shut and began to walk back to my house. Her lips began to pepper kisses on my neck as I moved, her hands tugging on the hair on the base of my neck.

_God, that feels good._

As soon as I reached the front door, Bella slid down from her previous place so she could walk on her own two feet. I was disappointed, and pouted at her slightly while caused her to smile in response as she took one of my hands in hers.

Once inside, I leant down and kissed the top of her head while enclosing her in my arms.

"How long are you staying for?" I couldn't help but ask, my words slightly skewed by her hair.

"Not sure yet, we can work it out later. For now, I'm pretty happy with what just happened..." she trailed her sentence off suggestively, and I didn't more of an invitation than that. I caught her lips with mine, pressing against her as she shuffled against the closest wall.

We began to become more heating, our hips eagerly grinding as we sought out friction. Her hands were tugging on my hair as I gently scraped my fingers down her neck, something I had learned that she liked. I was a few seconds away from caving and leading her to my room when Bella suddenly cried out - and not in the good way.

"Oh fuck, the ice cream!" she quickly pushed away from the wall and asked for my keys to unlock the front door.

As she scrambled to her car, only one thought ran through my mind.

_Did I really just get cock-blocked by ice cream?_

------

**A/N: **

**First; OF COURSE JASPER WASN'T CHEATING. IT'S JASPER. Hahaha, and a few of you guess right. **

**Second; The next chapter will be pretty long. Do you guys want fluff, lemons....etc on their date night?**

**Again, sorry for the wait and sorry if you didn't like this chapter. I am going to go crawl into bed after taking some medication and hope that I feel better and can write better for the next chapter once I wake up.**

**Leave reviews if you want to, I like them xD**


	13. Expensive Vacuum

**Authors Note;**

**I'm sorry this took so long. Life sucked and the lack of reviews made me kind of sad. Hope you enjoy this semi-long chapter. It isn't very good, if I am being honest, but I wanted to get it out.**

**-----**

"Jeez, Bella," he sighed, a lazy grin on his face. "Did you really buy all of this for me?" Jasper continued gazing at the bags on the counter and I swore a little drool was appearing as I reminded him that the food was for me too.

"Oh, what is this?" In his hand was a can of Dairy Whip, my favourite brand of whipped cream. Struggling to restrain my blush, I attempted to appear nonchalant.

Of course, red tinted cheeks and fidgeting fingers do not help ones attempts.

"Whipped cream, clearly," I muttered, looking anywhere but his eyes. Instead, I focused on his smirking lips that had now parted as he laughed.

"Clearly," he muttered just like I had. "What I meant to ask is what is it for?" My inner seductress woke, guiding me in speaking in a husky tone.

The sultry tone of my voice was accompanied by a raised eyebrow and a smirk of my own. Tilting my head down slightly so I could peep through my lashes, I simply said one word.

"Dessert."

His eyes darted from my eyes to my lips and back again, as he gulped audibly. I think I even saw his Adams apple bob.

What I didn't tell Jasper - increasingly and overtly aroused Jasper - was that the cream was a_ctually _for dessert.

_Of course, if he were to suggest human sundaes I wouldn't be entirely opposed..._

----

"Oh come on," he whined, running his fingers over the slight stubble on his jaw-line with the palm of his hand. "You cannot be serious!"

"I am," I confirmed. "I am entirely serious, and entirely stubborn if need be."

He frowned minutely as he stepped closer. The subtle twitch of his left eye, and the way he tucked his thumb in and out of his clenched right hand, were clear signs of his frustration. The movements were things I had to learn, and I was sure many people didn't know they even existed, let alone what they meant.

Then again, I was sure that most people don't watch him so intently.

"Darlin'," he drawled, less than an arm's length away. "You can't expect me to allow this." Jasper used his left hand to tilt my chin upwards as he leant down and stepped forward slightly more, his breath - usually fresh and minty but mixed with various beverages today - fanning across me.

The fucking bastard was going to win if I let him distract me.

"I can, because you should know that it means a lot to me to get to do this," I gasped out, trying to catch my breath.

_He literally took my breath away._

He squinted at me, as if upset by my answer. Then again, I would be to. I basically implied he was selfish if he refused me this.

"Bella, you have to understand. You think I am going to allow a beautiful woman into my home and allow her to cook me a lovely dinner, which she paid for might I add, while I go sit and do nothing?"

_Well when you put it like that..._

My resolve was weakening, and the hint of a smile he had made me sure he could tell.

"I'm begging here. You aren't the only one who missed someone today. I don't get to see you enough for my liking, and frankly I will be damned if I waste this precious time by lazing around. So darlin', won't you let me help?"

He morphed his face into the cliché puppy dog look; eyes widened, head tilted down slightly and bottom lip jutting out into a very kissable pout.

I tried to convince myself to stick to my guns, but then Jasper had to crumble any chance I had of doing so by whispering what would be my undoing.

"Please?"

---

"I get it Bella, you told me fifteen times." He playfully glared at me as I frowned at the rather pitiful job he did at cutting the lettuce. "But really, why are you such a perfectionist about the size of the strips? We are going to eat it eventually anyways," he continued, cutting the lettuce even larger than before.

You'd think he _wanted _to piss me off.

I blew a piece of my hair away from my face and threw my hands up, my frustration clear. "I told you I get anal in the kitchen!"

"If you keep critiquing my cutting, you won't be getting any anal in the kitchen, or anywhere, for that matter," he muttered, grinning and chuckling softly as he glanced at me sideways and finally cutting the way I wanted. "Better?"

"Thank you," I whispered, kissing his cloth covered shoulder and leaning on him briefly before remembering the meat I had cooking. As I walked back to where I had the mince browning, insecurity snuck up on me and tapped me on the shoulder.

---

"Now really, Bella, was that necessary?" My mother instantly emptied her hands of any cooking implements and frowned, turning to me with a glare as I immediately tried to apologize. "Stop, alright? You can have what you want. Do it _all_ yourself."

She started to leave the room, but not before leaving her last comment.

"You are just like your father, you know? He was stubborn as a mule and always thought he didn't need anyone's help. _He_ said self sufficient and independent." She laughed, but it was bitter. "I said _controlling_, Bella, and that _isn't_ a nice trait to have."

Reminding myself that she had just drunken a few drinks for the first time in months, and was probably nervous about having her new boyfriend have dinner at what was our current house for the first time, I finished dinner by myself.

---

_Stubborn as a mule and controlling,_ she had said.

My father lost those traits when she left, all the while never admitting that he changed in hopes that she would one day come back and fall in love with the new him. He was alone, defeated and a pushover now.

I feared following his footsteps even more than I feared following my mothers. While she left him and made many mistakes, she was still her own person. She hadn't let time change her completely, only give her additional quirks. She was still Renee's Renee, where Charlie was Renee's Charlie.

He owned a house, a car and a steady income, but he didn't own himself.

His traits had pushed my mother away, and I was going to do the same to Jasper. The idea of pushing away the best thing in my life by simply being_ myself _scared me so utterly and completely that I almost wanted to burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry, Jaz," I said, my voice thickened by fear. "You were cutting it fine before, god I'm so sorry."

He turned to me, and while I expected perhaps a tinge of anger, and maybe still some frustration, I wasn't prepared for understanding.

"I get it," he whispered, smiling reassuringly. He wiped his hands on his pants and opened his arms invitingly. I eagerly went into his embrace, clutching him as tightly as my arms could. He kissed my hair like he had done several times already today, but it was different. It wasn't flirty, sensual or even romantic; it was simply a comforting gesture.

"I really do get it, Bella."

I believed him, but I said "I'm sorry" again to be safe.

"Promise me you won't ever be afraid to be yourself, even the bad bits?" He sounded almost choked up, and it didn't take a genius to know that he was voicing something to do with his own fears.

"Are you sure you want the bad bits?" I chuckled quietly.

"Everything," he confirmed. "Don't try to make other people happy. You'll only end up miserable."

A small part of my brain registered that perhaps he too was thinking of his parents. His mother had passed away as a result of her trying to make her husband happy.

With that in mind, I promised him that I would always be myself when with him, and I meant it too.

---

**Jasper POV**

---

I could see it, clear as day, on her face. She was desperate to take over every job I did, and do it herself. But every single time I nearly caved and told her she could, she would shake her head slightly as if to clear it and smile at me, often speaking her approval of my attempts.

She still appeared doubtful about the way I seemed to understand her minor meltdown, but I think she was starting to get it. I really didn't want her to hide her flaws and fears, because if she did, I had no chance of learning to accept them or helping her overcome them.

"The Mexican feast is practically done." Bella turned to me and smiled as she set the timer on the oven for the nachos.

"Want to grab a beer and sit in the living room while that cooks?" I asked. At the sign of her nod, I grabbed two beers and lead her out of the kitchen.

---

I could have purred with contentment as Bella curled up against my side, my arm draped casually over her shoulders.

"I wish JD could narrate my life sometimes," she said while Scrubs went to a set of ads. "Shitty moments would be so much better."

"I would rather have Morgan Freeman." I thought for a moment. "Actually, I would want you to narrate my life."

I felt her confusion in the slight movements of her body; the way her torso turned to me, the way her head tilted against my shoulder.

"How do I beat JD _and _Morgan Freeman?" She turned to me fully, forcing me to let her escape my arms. I settled for holding her hand instead.

"Well," I started, flashing Bella the cheesiest grin I could muster. "Apart from the fact that your voice is much nicer, you also would be more entertaining. You aren't as hardcore as Morgan when it comes to facts, but you would be honest. Adding to that you award winning humour..." I waited as she hit me with a nearby couch pillow, her giggling filling the silence my pause left. "Well, clearly you beat them both."

"You are so cheesy," she uttered, smiling as she poked my arm.

The sudden dinging of my oven distracted her, her body moving away from the couch and into the kitchen.

I smiled at the sight of her nachos, perfectly cooked. I inhaled the smell and licked my lips.

"Speaking of cheesy..."

---

"That," I started, making sure to put my knife and fork together on my plate, "was easily the best dinner I have ever had."

She looked at me and smiled. "Thank you."

"I should be thanking you. Where did you learn to cook like that?"

The smile vanished as she shrugged. I was about to ask another question to distract her when she began to speak.

"I had to cook for myself usually, ever since I was about eight and my mother decided I didn't need a babysitter."

I frowned, as did she. It wasn't the first time she spoke of her mother in such a way that she seemed unreliable but it didn't make it any less distressing.

"She was often out on dates, and I had to fend for myself. For a while cereal and stuff like that was fine. At that age, getting to eat sugary things for dinner is amazing, you know?" She paused and ran her fingers through her hair, pushing the layers out of her way as a smile, sad and nostalgic, found its way on to her lips. "But then I went to Charlie's house for the summer. It was probably the first time I was really excited to go. Renee was making up for what she lost in her teen years at that stage I guess, so I wanted out for a while."

She looked down at her lap and I could see her pale fingers tearing apart a napkin. "Charlie was really eager for me to have fun, and he took me fishing a lot. He couldn't cook much, but he had a lot of fish recipes and I remember being so excited about using herbs. I never got to use them at home. It was all he could teach me, those fish recipes, but he saw how excited I was when I cooked. He went out to the store one day and I came back to find all the cupboards and shelves stocked with food and appliances, and he even brought me eleven cook books." She looked up and her eyes glistened with tears, but whether they were happy or sad I couldn't tell. "He told me that I could use as much as I wanted, even if he had to buy more."

I made a note to thank her father if I ever had the chance to meet him. "He sounds like he loves you a whole lot."

She sniffled quietly and nodded, silent.

"Are you okay?" I stood up and went to her side, leaning down as she sat on the chair to encase her in my arms and kiss her neck.

"I just miss him."

"Why haven't you seen him lately?"

She sighed, her shoulders slumping down further. "Either I am too busy, or when I am not busy it's because I haven't been working so I can't afford it."

"I could afford it," I whispered into her neck."I could pay for you to go."

She struggled to look at me directly from my position behind her, but I saw her eyes light up and a smile tease her lips. "Are you serious?"

"Entirely," I confirmed, chuckling as she began to practically vibrate with excitement. She flung herself out of the chair and latched herself onto me again, her arms locking around my waist. I felt a sudden dampness on my chest and realized she was crying.

"You have no idea how much that would mean to me," she choked out. "But I couldn't take your money."

I grabbed her face between my hands gently, wiping away her tears and silently wondering how many more times I would make this girl cry today. "You can, and you will," I ordered, kissing her lips softly. "It can be repayment for this lovely dinner."

She frowned, clearly against that trade.

"Sugar, I can't force you to take anything, but it really would make me happy."

She smiled slightly and I knew immediately that I was going to win, regardless of the next works out of her mouth.

---

Bella and I were getting tipsy, watching the good horror movies and cuddling like a love sick couple. At the risk of sounding cheesy and cliché, _it was fucking heaven_.

She had decided to sit on my lap instead of on the free space and it gave me the excuse to memorize the little things about her; the way her hair smelt of strawberry shampoo but her neck smelt like freesia, the small scattering of freckles on her shoulders and back that matched the ones on her cheeks and nose, the mole under her right ear and the holes that suggested she had her ears pierced...

I couldn't get enough of her.

She sighed suddenly, and leant back against me even further. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her, just beneath her breasts.

---

Bella POV

---

"This is really nice." His arms twitched briefly before tightening around me. "You're perfect."

I smiled, and tried to ignore the fluttering of my heart as I muttered "hardly" under my breath.

"You must be pretty fucking close then Bella." He left a hot, open mouthed kiss just behind my ear and groaned. "You're perfect to me."

I smiled the tiniest bit, trying not to let how un-perfect I was over ride my elation. Scrambling off his lap, I turned to him and bit my lip.

He was frowning, his arms outstretching to me in an inviting manner.

"I wasn't done, missy," he teased. "Come back 'ere..."

He tugged on my hands, but I escaped before they clasped too strongly.

"Want to do some shots?"

---

We were drunk.

We were both _undeniably_ drunk. One drink led to two, two led to much too many and suddenly we were both smashed and giggling while we played go fish in his bed.

"Fuck you, darlin'!" he cried in his southern twang. "I'm so sick of fishing!"

He pouted as I laughed, sticking my tongue out at him.

"I'd keep that in your mouth," he warned, his blue eyes growing darker.

"Or what?" I teased back, making a point to poke my tongue out again as he leaned closer.

Our lips crashed together and as his lips pressed against mine and the taste of tequila was strong, but his naturally minty breathe made up for it. His large hands cupped my face as he moved his knees to either side of my legs; hovering.

I licked his bottom lip and he opened his mouth in acceptance of my silent request. We battled for control, but I eventually gave up and gave myself over to him. I slid my hands into his curls to bring him closer as he did the same to me. He pulled hard and I couldn't help the whimper that escaped. He knew what that fucking did to me.

And then he was gone.

By the time I gathered my bearings and caught my breath; he was sitting there; smug grin on his face as he gazed at me.

"Or I'd leave you hanging," he finally answered my previous question, seemingly struggling to hold back laughter.

I demanded we go back to watching movies after that, hoping desperately that he secretly had a low tolerance for gore and might cry a little.

---

"You can't leave me Alex," the busty blonde cried as she clung on to her boyfriend. "What if he comes to get me while you are gone?"

She looked around the cabin they were in as if the murderer would appear any second.

Heck, this 80's attempt at horror was so cliché it wouldn't surprise me.

Alex clumsily kissed her before pulling away for a romantic speech as Jasper and I already began laughing.

"Before you, Sammy, my life was like a moonless night; very dark. But there were stars, points of light and reasons..."

He continued on, babbling about how without her the world held no meaning as she ate it all up.

I cuddled further into Jasper and looked at him through my lashes; though I was sure I just looked amusingly drunk.

"Why don't you ever say stuff like that?" I joked.

He kissed the tip of my nose, eliciting a giggle from me.

"If I wasn't so darned drunk, I would sweetheart."

By the time the murderer finally died in the movie, we were both tired and fearful of future hang over's.

I frowned when I realized dessert and wondered if I would get to make him it tomorrow night since I had the day off.

---

His arm was lazily placed over my stomach, his breath dancing across my neck. I was sure he was asleep, but he began talking quietly in slurs and hiccups.

"I finally got it," he laughed and pulled me closer. "Before you, Bella, my life was like a vacuum. It fucking sucked."

I laughed along with him, rolling over so I could snuggle into his chest. A few minutes later I was almost asleep when Jasper whispered into my ear again.

"In fact, before you Bella my life was an expensive vacuum; it sucked _and _blowed."

---

I drifted off to sleep, dreams of cowboys riding vacuums filling my mind as my own cowboy clung to me in his sleep.

-----

**Authors Note;**

**Yeah, this chapter was like an expensive vacuum.**

**I hoped you liked this chapter anyways, since I doubt there will be much happiness for a while...**

**Review, since it was the sudden decline in reviews that made me less motivated than usual. That isn't really a ploy to get reviews by the way; I actually did get sad by the lack of them this time. Plus life kicked my ass, but it's sort of fine now.**


	14. Ain't No Sunshine

**Authors Note;**

**This chapter is set the day Bella goes back to work after a week off. Also, thanks for the reviews! Made me uber excited, hence the quick update. Pretty decent length too...**

**Enjoy.**

**-------**

It was bizarre, being back at work after week off - a week in which many minutes were spent with Jasper. It was like coming back from vacation and thrust back into reality suddenly. Every minute with him felt precious and magical "even the bad bits" and without him here...

It was as though the things I found pleasure in before were instantly painful. For instance, previously a full schedule was my goal, but now all I could think of was him and it made listening to Alice all that more dreadful.

"...and then at twelve, it's Tanya and she will probably be with Lauren. Then we have Leah and Seth at two who are the siblings. Leah isn't as commercial, but Seth is adorable. Honestly, I only wanted him but their mother was going to have a hissy fit if I didn't take them both," Alice winced at the idea. "But Leah is pretty professional, especially for a twelve year old so it shouldn't be too bad. And then it is Edward at four, which means from whenever you finish taking Leah and Seth's headshots until then you can take a lunch..."

"I thought Edward already had headshots?" He had an amazing portfolio already, unlike these up-and-comers and usually that meant I only had to plan new fashion shoots to update their books, not take basic headshots.

"He does, but he wants to start fresh. He is sick of the 'clean' image, so he is scraping his old work book an-"

"What do you mean he is scraping his old book?" I frowned, thinking of all the gorgeous pictures he acquired over the years and suddenly feeling bad for every photographer and stylist that was involved. "Even the beautiful bridal shots? Oh my god, please not the underwear shoots! He has to keep them!"

Alice shrugged while pouting, clearly thinking the same as me. "I'm going to miss his underwear advertisements," she sighed. "What a waste..." She looked at a piece of paper in her hand that was a more detailed version of my schedule with added notes from the clients. "Edward seems to think that to push forward into music as well as modelling, he has to become serious. He doesn't want to be an underwear model or anything like that; more high fashion, more high class."

She snorted while I pushed my bangs out of my face and nodded, understanding what Edward must be thinking. Nobody who actually appreciates acoustic music and classical piano would listen to him if he was best known for his body.

"So I start the day with Tanya, then Lauren who will probably arrive with Tanya. Leah and Seth are coming at two and I am to take shots of them separate and then together. I take my lunch break between the twins and Edward. Then my day finishes with taking Edward's new head shots?"

Alice agreed before reminding me that I also had to plan out some shoots with Edward to fill his new portfolio.

I was just about to ask her to leave so I could go and set up my studio when she looked at me, squinting as if searching for something. She nibbled on her bottom lip and tilted her head to the left.

She only tilted her head when scared, confused or upset.

"Bella," she said hesitantly. "I have something to talk to you about..."

_Fuck, fuckity fuck. Oh god. Does she know? _

_No. She couldn't. She would have blown her top by now._

"Have you ever considered having your own personal assistant?"

"I'm so sorry I-" I realized what she said and froze. "I beg your pardon?" I sputtered out.

"You know someone to work with you and only you? To do all the boring bits so you can focus on what you do and not paperwork?"

"Oh," I whispered.

She knew nothing.

I grimaced regardless. "I couldn't afford that, so I never really thought about it. Maybe in a few years I could hire someone."

Alice smiled at me and came and sat on the edge of my desk, her legs - short by comparison to mine but long in proportion to her - swinging instantly. "What if I told you I could afford it now that we are taking on so many new clients?"

My mouth dropped a little as I turned my gaze to my mountain of paperwork. I waved a hand towards it. "So I would have no more of that?"

"Goodbye, paper work!"

"I'd still have to check over it all though right?"

"Unless you fully trust the person, I would recommend you do."

"But I wouldn't have to actually fill it out? I could just focus on my photography and planning the shoots?"

"That's the ultimate goal," she said with a smile.

"I would fucking love that, Alice!" I squealed and stood to hug her, crushing her tiny frame against mine while trying to avoid hurting her or my neatly sorted desk. "Thank you!"

"You deserve it." She patted my back and kissed my cheek before pulling back from the hug. "I know how nice it was when Jessica came on and I could ignore my paperwork."

I sat back down and gnawed on my lower lip. "So do you already have someone lined up?"

"I thought you should probably pick your own person assistant," she glanced at my face and must have seen my expression. "Unless you don't have time...I could find someone if you like?"

"No, no," I quickly assured her. "I'll interview some people while you're in Paris."

"Are you sure you have time to plan interviews in the next three weeks?"

"Uh, sure?" I would aim for that, anyways.

She laughed and squeezed my shoulder. "Good luck setting up all the interviews in the next three weeks."

----

"Hi, it's lovely to meet you. I'm Tanya Denali," the leggy strawberry blonde stuck out her hand. I shook it lightly.

"Same to you. I'm Isabella Swan."

She smiled, flashing her perfect white teeth. "Lauren will be here shortly. She just wanted to grab a bite to eat while I take my shots. Do you need me to change or is this fine?" She waved a hand to her plain white tank top and blue jeans. I smiled, grateful that she wore the basic model gear.

"What you have on is perfect actually," I told her. I remembered that Alice told me she wants this set of models to be pretty natural looking, and Tanya - while gorgeous in her red lips and accentuated eyes - did not fit that bill. "We might need to tweak your makeup a bit..." I warned her.

Her laugh was very lady like as she told me she had just come from a family get together earlier today and didn't have time to fix her hair and makeup.

"Jessica," I called, mentally reminding myself to thank Alice for hiring an assistant who was also a makeup and hair student. "Can I have a hand for a second?"

She appeared makeup and hair kit already in hand and grinned at me. "Alice said I might need this today."

"Just a light foundation, nothing heavy please and maybe a dewy blush? Oh, and if you take all of her hair out and wave it slightly..." I glanced at Tanya's face again where she was starting to show what I had dubbed 'Holy fuck, I really am stepping into the industry now' nerves. "And put just a little lipstick, nothing glossy to distract from her perfect lip shape and maybe some mascara just to make those pretty blue eyes pop," I finished, purposefully complimenting her as much as I could.

I knew Tanya had noticed as she stepped over to where I had an empty desk, her shoulders now pushed back and her hand no longer shaking.

---

"Hi, you must be Lauren," I heard Jessica greet. "If you don't mind taking a seat, Miss Swan is just finishing up with a previous client."

I heard a huff and a nasally voice. "Do you know who I am? I am Tanya's friend, and Alice said I could wait for her!" I heard the sound of heels clacking on the wooden floors of the front office.

"I'm so sorry about her," Tanya whispered to me as I fiddled with one of the lights. "She is usually fine but ever since she was told she was going to join this modelling agency she seems to think she is a supermodel."

I laughed, taking a few final shots of her as Lauren burst in, an apologetic Jessica behind her.

"Hello, I'm Isabella Swan. I'm almost done so if you'd like to sit down and Jessica can get you a coffee, tea, juice or water if you prefer?"

She smiled, but it was nowhere near as polite as Tanya's had been. It bordered on a sneer. "Finally someone who knows their place," she muttered as she went and sat on the couch I had placed in the corner. "You look gorgeous Tan," she said while I turned my attention back to the current task.

I wondered if Tanya noticed the way Lauren muttered 'not' under her breath.

----

"But my hair looks great this way!"

Does she ever stop whinging?

"Lauren, you are gorgeous, but people generally prefer quite a natural look for headshots. They want a blank canvas to inspire them."

She pouted but stopped her complaints anyway, allowing Jessica to straighten her hair to complete the peachy look we had going.

"If you like we could go discuss a few ideas for some portfolio shoots while they finish up here?" I directed to Tanya.

"Really?" She beamed, and mumbled 'so cool' at a volume almost too low for me to hear.

----

I was glad when Lauren finished and left, taking Tanya with her. Tanya was sweet and seemed quite awed while Lauren, regardless of her lack of experience, was a pain.

The adorable kids that entered my room cheered me up instantly though.

"I'm Seth," the male of the two said, his teeth seeming even whiter against his darker skin. "What's your name?"

"Hi Seth," I greeted, toning down the formal voice I used with the adults. "I'm Isabella, but you can call me Bella if you like." I shifted my gaze to the older, but equally adorable girl on his right. "And you must be Leah?"

"Yes. It's nice to meet you Miss Swan. My mother wanted to come in but she had prior engagements. She wanted me to assure you that she will be here to pick us up on time though."

I smiled widely at the girl, but I didn't see _her._

I saw me.

The way she spoke with an air of maturity that was beyond her years was so familiar. I wondered what forced her to grow up so fast.

"No problem. If you want to go over to the girl over there," I pointed to Jessica. "She will just make you extra special for today and then we can take some photos."

Seth cheered and skipped over to Jessica whilst Leah smiled softly thanked me and moved over slowly.

----

"Leah, if you want to wrap your arm around his shoulder?" She did as I asked, pulling him tight for a side hug. "Give me a nice big smile, champ," I requested of him, laughing as Seth lit up with a smile that filled half his face.

I took the last shot and couldn't help but feel slightly sad that I was done with these two for the day.

Seth seemed to think the same as me, pouting as I put down the camera. "All done?"

"For today," I confirmed. "But you two can come back in a few weeks and take some really fun shots. Leah, what is your favourite colour?" I asked, reaching for my pen and paper to jot down some ideas.

"I like purple and blue," she said, grabbing Seth's hand before it touched one of the lights. "It might burn you," she whispered to him. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"And what about you, buddy?"

"I love red!"

He smiled, his hand now being held by his big sister. He smiled up at her and she smiled the first real smile today. I quickly grabbed my camera and took a shot before they moved.

"Do you guys want something to eat while you wait for your mum?" Jessica asked from the door.

"Oh, food!" Seth called eagerly, running over to Jessica.

"Seth," his sister said in a warning tone.

He immediately stopped running and said a quiet "I mean, yes please" before walking the rest of the way.

----

"Thank you so much," their mother said as she started to shuffle them out the door. "Tell Miss Brandon I'll be in touch," she requested.

"Of course," Jessica replied.

"Bye Seth," I called with a small wave. "Bye Leah, I'll see you guys in a few weeks okay?"

They both nodded before disappearing through the door.

----

"The usual, Bella?" I looked up to see Mike at the counter, his hands busy cleaning the counter but his eyes and smile directed at me.

"Better make it just a coffee today," I replied, thinking of how bad it would be to have a messy face in front of Edward Cullen. "But make it a strong one, please."

"Got a busy day today?" he inquired. I nodded. "No problem. I'll bring it right out if you want to take a seat."

I thanked him with a smile and took my usual seat, the comfiest booth in the back surrounded by books and paintings.

Half way through an article a coffee was silently slid onto my table, as well as a small muffin and a note.

_Consider the muffin on the house. _

I felt someone's eyes on me and, sure enough, when I looked up Mikes eyes connected with mine.

"Thanks," I mimed.

He simply nodded and smiled, going back to work.

I eagerly ate the muffin, not realizing just how hungry I was until I had taken the first bite. I checked my BlackBerry as I ate, going through my emails before hitting the unread messages.

--

Hey Bella,

Edward Cullen just rang and asked if he would be able to move his time slot to 5.30 instead of 4.

Call me when you can.

Jessica.

--

I sighed, wondering if Alice was wrong when she said he had no ego and rang Jessica.

"Oh good, you got my message," was her way of greeting.

"Hey Jess. You can tell him that is fine," I said, still slightly peeved.

"Okay, Bella. Enjoy the rest of your break. Oh! And Alice said to let you know she is coming in half an hour until four, so if you want to call her you can reach her here."

"Thanks. See you in a while."

"Bye."

I disconnected the line and frowned. If I had know I'd end up on a two hour lunch break instead of a half an hour one I would of gotten proper food. Moving in front of the counter, I glanced at the menu.

"Can I get you anything else?" Mike asked.

"Yeah," I mumbled distractedly, still looking at my options. "What would you recommend for lunch? My next client postponed by a while, so I thought I should grab something to eat."

"The soup of the day is getting some good reviews. It's homemade pumpkin today."

"Sounds perfect."

---

By the time I had finished my lunch and everything else, I decided to go back to the office and do some draft work for my future shoots. I was preparing a list of items I would need to find for Tanya's 50's inspired shoot when Jessica knocked on my office door.

"Bella," she sighed as she entered my office. "Edward Cullen said the original reason he postponed is now even worse than before and he cannot make it today. He says he is terribly sorry."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, tugging harshly on the strands. "And what was his original reason?"

"He couldn't say. He really did sound apologetic though. You might as well go home."

I grimaced at the amount of time I wasted on Edward Cullen today and nodded.

In less than ten minutes I had gathered all my belongings for the day and left the building, annoyed at stuck up models when another model, though not stuck up, entered my day by means of text.

_Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. __And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away._

_Is today as horrible for you as it is for me?_

_I miss you,_

_Jasper._

**----**

**Authors Note;**

**Filler, I suppose. **

**Hope you enjoyed anyways xD**

**Isn't Jasper the cutest?**

**So, regarding Edward...Do you all want some BxE action too? Hahaha. Who knows? I'm playing this story by ear, taking in what you all say to make it a FANfiction.**

**Also; who do you want Bella's assistant to be? **

**Less than 4 chapters till Paris, where the real drama starts.**

**Next chapter will be ¼ Bella and ¾ Jasper POV just so you know. :)**

**Jasper says review, ya'll!**


	15. Promises

**Authors Note;**

**Sorry for the wait!**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

------

A continuous stream of quiet chatter filtered through my door as they talked, occasionally joined by light laughter. I tried not to hit the keys of my keyboard harder, or turn my iPod up much too loud, but the temptation of not hearing Jasper and Alice was too strong.

I turned my music up until the quiet chatter disappeared, smiling as Pale Blue Eyes become the only sound in my head.

Then I listened to the lyrics and pressed skip until it landed on Your English is Good.

----

I was smiling and thinking of him, listening to the song that reminded me of him and trying to ignore how close he was. I was half way through the second verse when a constant tapping sound, clearly not part of the drum beat within 'You are the Moon', tore me away from my happy bubble. Sighing, I removed the headphones and called for whoever was on the other side to come in.

In walked Alice, Jasper no less than two steps behind her. Her eyes held the spark that only a good sale, a new client or an attractive boy nearby ever gave her. The handsome blond that stood behind her was obviously the cause today.

"Morning, Bella!" she chirped, walking over to my desk and sitting herself on her usual spot, ignoring the papers she was sitting on. "How are you today?"

I smiled forcefully and shrugged. "I'm fine." She nodded and looked around awkwardly. How she could notice my slight bad moods but not the major things in life puzzled me. "How are you, Alice?"

"Great," she sang while clapping her hands together. "Did you know it's only two weeks till we leave for Paris?"

"There is only _two _weeks left_?" _I sputtered out. She laughed and nodded, prancing over to my desk and taking her usual spot atop it.

"Time flies, right? Jasper hasn't even packed his bags yet! But you know me Bella; mine have been packed for a month." She laughed and Jasper joined in with a chuckle, the first sound he had made since entering.

"Hello Mister Whitlock," I greeted formally, restraining a smile when he raised one eyebrow and smirked.

"Good morning, Miss Swan," he replied, curtsying behind Alice and forcing me to cough to hide my laughter.

"Well," Alice interrupted, eyeing us suspiciously. "I didn't come in here just to chat."

"Oh, right. What do you need Alice?"

"Do you have Jaspers file for after Paris? We wanted to see what you had drawn up."

I sighed, rubbing my hand along the side of my neck. "You never scheduled a meeting with him like you did for the other models, Al. I never got to discuss ideas with him, or you, or anyone for that matter. And you know how I work; I'm not going to plan things that might not suit the models aims and direction."

It was her turn to sigh now, pouting slightly and closing her eyes. "Jas, do you have time today?"

After a quick discussion it was decided that Jasper would come back tomorrow to discuss ideas for shoots around the same time as Edward Cullen.

"Oh and Bella, would you mind grabbing me Edward's file? I need to fax him some pages."

While I looked for the file, Alice sat on my desk like usual. What wasn't usual though was having Jasper sitting near me, his eyes trained on my every movement.

"I could bring it to you later, Alice," I suggested, "when you aren't so busy with other clients."

I blew my bangs off my face and slumped my shoulders, finding no files of Edward's in the first set of files.

While I went to the second draw of files, she stood up, laughed and patted my shoulder in a manner that made it almost condescending. "Sweetie, we all have trouble finding things in offices. Don't be embarrassed."

I snorted but nodded regardless. "Okay," I sighed. "It has to be here anyways," I decided as I reached down into the bottom draw, sticking my ass out to punish Jasper for staring.

Like clockwork he groaned and said to Alice he needed some water, leaving the room fast.

Another ten minutes after Jasper left and I still hadn't found the file.

"Alice it isn't here!"

"Oh."

"Oh, what?"

"I forgot I got Jessica to get it out earlier," she said sheepishly. "Sorry, babe."

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

----

Jasper came in a while after Alice left; smiling softly as he locked the now closed the door. He came to my desk and sat on the chair beside mine, gazing at me while both of us remained completely silent. His fingertips rose and gently swept down my neck and collarbone, a trail of goose bumps left in their wake.

"I've missed you," he finally whispered, leaning in and brushing his lips against my cheek.

"I missed you more," I murmured, waiting for his lips to meet mine. They did eventually, light as a feather at first before it began to pick up pressure. His fingertips, previously stilled at my shoulders moved up to lightly grip the hair at the base of my neck. He pulled me closer, pouting when he couldn't move me anymore due to the chairs. I smirked against his lips and stood, never breaking the kiss before sitting in his lap and thanking the heavens that I brought chairs that didn't have armrests.

Now effectively straddling him, I resisted a whimper. He was hard and, with my skirt hiked up, there was very little to stop me from feeling every inch of him. I grinded against him, earning a whimper and groan from him and tried not to do the same.

"Fuck, Bella," he moaned into my mouth as my hands went to fist his hair and tug. We broke apart for air and, unhappy with my need to breath, I kissed his neck and nuzzled against him.

"Where's Alice?" I asked as I realized where we were.

"Out at lunch," he replied, playing with a piece of my hair. "And she took Jessica with her and told me to tell you they aren't coming back today and you'll need to lock up, they said something about a sale."

I smiled, kissing his neck again and thanking the heavens once more.

"I really did miss you, sweetheart," he whispered.

I giggled and ground against him again. "I could tell," I teased.

"Mhmm, keep that up and I'll show you just how much I missed you..." he muttered, pulling me back up for a kiss.

I ground against him again and grinned."Is that a promise?"

-----

**Authors Note;**

**What I originally intended for this chapter I am going to do next time. It just wasn't working with this chapters flow, even after a few weeks of trying to make it xD**

**Sorry bout the wait. And thanks SO much for the reviews! Whoever is my 100****th**** reviewer gets to request for ANYTHING in the story (okay, with a few limits...) so good luck being number 100!**

**(Everyone who reviews this chapter will get a small prize though.)**

**Don't forget: VOTE FOR THE POLL ON MY PAGE!**


	16. Don't hate me

I'm sorry.

I simply can't write this story anymore. I'm terrible with long stories and I really regret ever turning this into a long one. I never seem to finish them.

Again, I'm sorry.

Please don't hate me. -runs and hides-

I'm just too busy with school at the moment and when I'm not busy I have the worst case of writers block.

On the next holidays I might pick up where this left off, but for now it's...over.

Thank you for all the reviews regardless. They meant a lot to me.


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